I'm a real sentimentalist, I hang on to old birthday cards, Christmas cards, letters from my Dad and also all the letters from my XH. We have been divorced now for almost 9 months. I'm due to move house again for the third time in three years, my landlords keep selling! So this weekend was one of sorting and packing, once again!
There is a certain drawer in my desk, which I'd been avoiding. This contains all the paper that was generated by and during the divorce. I finally forced myself to go through it and discovered loads of emails I'd printed from XH and even a couple of handwritten letters from him trying to explain/confuse me on what we were going through, as well as all the solicitor's bills and letters about the divorce. I re-read everything and felt my heart breaking all over again as I knew it would. Finally, I thought "Why am I doing this? Why am I keeping these hurtful things? Why am I holding onto something that only causes me pain?"
So I bundled everything together, only keeping my decree absolute out of sight in a safe place and braved the appropriately stormy weather in to work where I shredded everything. It has been such a release and I feel great that now I do not need to avoid opening a certain drawer in my desk. Even the dark and stormy day seems brighter somehow.
Now I need to gather the courage to do the same to my email and mobile phone messages....