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Newest Member: NumbEmptySad (61504)

User Topic: Letting go
♀ 33385
Member # 33385
Default  Posted: 4:49 AM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a real sentimentalist, I hang on to old birthday cards, Christmas cards, letters from my Dad and also all the letters from my XH. We have been divorced now for almost 9 months. I'm due to move house again for the third time in three years, my landlords keep selling! So this weekend was one of sorting and packing, once again!

There is a certain drawer in my desk, which I'd been avoiding. This contains all the paper that was generated by and during the divorce. I finally forced myself to go through it and discovered loads of emails I'd printed from XH and even a couple of handwritten letters from him trying to explain/confuse me on what we were going through, as well as all the solicitor's bills and letters about the divorce. I re-read everything and felt my heart breaking all over again as I knew it would. Finally, I thought "Why am I doing this? Why am I keeping these hurtful things? Why am I holding onto something that only causes me pain?"

So I bundled everything together, only keeping my decree absolute out of sight in a safe place and braved the appropriately stormy weather in to work where I shredded everything. It has been such a release and I feel great that now I do not need to avoid opening a certain drawer in my desk. Even the dark and stormy day seems brighter somehow.

Now I need to gather the courage to do the same to my email and mobile phone messages....

[This message edited by autumn_endings at 4:59 AM, October 28th (Monday)]

Me - BS
Him - WS
Both 35
Married - 5 years, together 12 years.
DDay - Dec 2010
Tried R, he can't do it!
D started Oct 2011, D final Feb 2013

Posts: 40 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: UK
♀ 24961
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you!

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

Posts: 5919 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, October 28th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is such a wonderful release when you no longer need to keep the evidence.

The emails and texts will be another day and another step but it will come.
You keep taking back your life, your space, and you time. that is healing my friend.


[This message edited by gma56 at 8:32 PM, October 28th (Monday)]

It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20489 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Topic Posts: 3

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