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Letting go

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autumn_endings posted 10/28/2013 04:49 AM

I'm a real sentimentalist, I hang on to old birthday cards, Christmas cards, letters from my Dad and also all the letters from my XH. We have been divorced now for almost 9 months. I'm due to move house again for the third time in three years, my landlords keep selling! So this weekend was one of sorting and packing, once again!

There is a certain drawer in my desk, which I'd been avoiding. This contains all the paper that was generated by and during the divorce. I finally forced myself to go through it and discovered loads of emails I'd printed from XH and even a couple of handwritten letters from him trying to explain/confuse me on what we were going through, as well as all the solicitor's bills and letters about the divorce. I re-read everything and felt my heart breaking all over again as I knew it would. Finally, I thought "Why am I doing this? Why am I keeping these hurtful things? Why am I holding onto something that only causes me pain?"

So I bundled everything together, only keeping my decree absolute out of sight in a safe place and braved the appropriately stormy weather in to work where I shredded everything. It has been such a release and I feel great that now I do not need to avoid opening a certain drawer in my desk. Even the dark and stormy day seems brighter somehow.

Now I need to gather the courage to do the same to my email and mobile phone messages....

[This message edited by autumn_endings at 4:59 AM, October 28th (Monday)]

devistatedmom posted 10/28/2013 18:07 PM

Good for you!

gma56 posted 10/28/2013 20:31 PM

It is such a wonderful release when you no longer need to keep the evidence.

The emails and texts will be another day and another step but it will come.
You keep taking back your life, your space, and you time. that is healing my friend.


[This message edited by gma56 at 8:32 PM, October 28th (Monday)]

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