SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Shockleader posted 10/28/2013 09:32 AM

Like so many of us, D Day, the D process, fall out of the A and everything else nearly took the life from us it seemed... I know there were times I prayed to die, stuck in a place so dark, so painful, and bleak I really thought death was a great option.

Through the help of friends here at SI, IRL friends, others, and time, I am so much better, and a work in progress and generally hopeful. My toxic cheating WW is a non factor in my daily life, I now have a job, my own apartment, DD is off to university and doing well, and I even have a SO who is so kind, gentle, and loving to me... I am so happy when I am with her, and she tells me the same.

So many folks here will tell you it will get better, and it does! Perfect, NEVER, but what is? At this moment I AM HAPPY, and never thought I would be again. Chin up folks, and however you deal with your particular A situation, know it WILL get better. I'm grateful for so much, and wanted to tell my friends at SI THANK YOU for all of your help!

Sneaky shot from one of our weekend stops... I really dig her!

[This message edited by Shockleader at 9:36 AM, October 28th (Monday)]

jo2love posted 10/28/2013 09:50 AM

I'm so happy for you.

nowiknow23 posted 10/28/2013 09:57 AM

Thefly559 posted 10/28/2013 11:58 AM

Thanks for the hope brother !!!! happy you made it through

EvenKeel posted 10/28/2013 12:55 PM

I think these posts are so important.

I remember WAY back when I was in the JFO forum. You know, when you feel like you will never-ever make it through?

Once in a blue moon, I would sneak a peek at the NB forum and it would give me so much hope to see people be on the other side!

I am sure there is some JFO newbie lurking about that will see your update. It will give them some reassurance that there IS life afterwards even if they are unable to comprehend it for themself at this point.

Thanks for sharing and congrats to you on your NB!

MakingLemonade posted 10/28/2013 21:01 PM

I am sure there is some JFO newbie lurking about that will see your update.

I'm not a JFO newbie lurker, but a newbie nonetheless.

Thanks Shockleader for sharing your happiness beyond the chaos, especially for those of us who want proof it can be done.

Bluebird26 posted 10/29/2013 06:23 AM

Great update TFS

missherlots posted 10/29/2013 11:19 AM

this is the kind of movies I like.

with happy ending.

you own your Karma,

my two cents,

torn2bits posted 10/29/2013 13:48 PM

Thank you!!

I really need to read this today, especially from someone who also gave over 20 years of their life to someone else.

So great to hear you are happy again!

careerlady posted 10/30/2013 22:59 PM

yay! Thank you this is just what I came to this forum for - HOPE!

Shockleader posted 11/1/2013 11:42 AM

Thank you very much everyone!

Yes, there is HOPE! There are many times in a persons life where tears are shed; I am so glad now for me they fall because of joy, gratitude and HOPE, not despair, the feelings of betrayal, and watching my family being destroyed by a monster... Best wishes to all that suffer... IT WILL GET BETTER!

broken2 posted 11/1/2013 12:16 PM

(Standing up and applauding) Bravo Shockleader, Bravo!!!

I could have written the first part of your post word per word. I also could have written

I am so much better, and a work in progress and generally hopeful.

My point here is to also encourage the newbies. Listen to what Shockleader has said, it does get better!

So happy for you Shockleader!

[This message edited by broken2 at 12:17 PM, November 1st (Friday)]

Blackhair posted 11/3/2013 04:49 AM

That is so wonderful! Thanks for sharing and we should have hopes!
I am over six months pass Dday, it does getting a lot better!

Shockleader posted 11/3/2013 15:07 PM

Thank you broken2 and blackhair.

We just wrapped up another amazing weekend together full of laughs til you hurt, and a depth of kindness, caring and connective understanding I can hardly believe I am experiencing. It's simply remarkable.

Please any JFO people looking for hope in the complete black hole of despair, know that with or without a new partner after D, true R with the wayward, divorce as the only option, or as a single parent ripped apart by a monster, your life will GET BETTER! Peace and best of wishes to all.

ChoosingHope posted 11/3/2013 21:16 PM

LOVE this! Thanks for the updates!

better4me posted 11/4/2013 14:05 PM

k94ever posted 11/4/2013 19:51 PM

I'm happy for you Shockleader, but my hope is reaching an all time low.

I'm resigning myself to being single for the rest of my life. (sigh)

Not what I expected at this stage of my life.

k9