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caregiver9000 posted 10/28/2013 14:01 PM

Every time I come to this forum gypsybird's "I got kissed" seems to leap off the page at me.

Isn't that a wonderful thing?

I have a potential new relationship that might one day lead to such a vibrant announcement. See? the world is full of possibility. might. could. one day. Aren't we all at that point in our lives about something?

One thing I have noticed is that I spend too much time second guessing, worrying, what iffing and analyzing all the ways the potential could be "misleading" or just "not there."

Why do I do this?

I have pretty much always been this way I think. Betrayal has certainly made it worse, in that I have a perfectly logical REASON for being this way.

But I don't think it is who I am at my core. At my core, real self, I think I am an optimistic, hopeful believer. What made me realize this was a throw away comment from a friend when I share my "tempered" excitement about this new guy and she asked, "Is he real?"

It is a valid question. But I got defensive on the inside. Like "why can't I deserve something great that if it seems to be present, it must be fake?"

My whole life doesn't HAVE to be a disaster.

After thinking about this, I came up with an analogy. It is about riding roller coasters. (I love roller coasters)

If the roller coaster looks unsafe I don't get on. But if the roller coaster has every indication of safety and I want that thrill and choose to ride, WHY in the world would I spend the whole time worrying about if it breaks or I fall out, or I get hurt, or it malfunctions? All of those are possibilities. But if I stand in line and get on board, doesn't it make more since to put my hands up and scream and holler and ENJOY the 3 minutes before it is over?

I don't know that I can achieve this. But I think it might be a better way of going about things than I have done.

nowiknow23 posted 10/28/2013 16:11 PM

I like that very much, cg.

cmego posted 10/28/2013 20:09 PM

Wait...I wanna hear about the potential new relationship???

Sad in AZ posted 10/29/2013 00:51 AM

Pssst, cmego; I think that's the rollercoaster she's talking about...

9.10.11 posted 10/29/2013 06:07 AM

CG, the ride will be a bit shakey and scary at times....but why not "throw your hands in the air like you don't care" and enjoy the ride?! Get on and get it on! There are other roller coasters in the park if it doesn't work out.....and this one won't kill ya.

cmego posted 10/29/2013 06:27 AM

I am literal and my brain is coddled from too much studying.

I just WANT CG9000 to find a man that deserves her.

Ann124 posted 10/29/2013 07:17 AM

Exactly!!! Perfect Analogy!

I don't want to live in a box ... I want to enjoy the ride!

Love it!

SBB posted 10/29/2013 07:31 AM

I don't know that I can achieve this. But I think it might be a better way of going about things than I have done.

caregiver9000 posted 10/29/2013 15:29 PM

I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Every time I re-read my analogy, my brain goes straight to the 3 minute comment and I can't help but think, damn but I hope the ride lasts longer than 3 minutes!!!

If I get brave, and convinced that I won't jinx myself I will cough up some details about this man. I am hopeful in a way I haven't been before.