This still boils my blood years later. When we were going through D, I had it written in that WH wouldn't have his paramour around the kids.
He did, first visit!! His MOM was present, and SHE didn't give a crap!
At a court hearing, the judge told WH that if his paramour was around the kids, he wouldn't have custody and visitation for long...
Didn't stop them. I think they got off on breaking the law. I know OW was 40, no kids, and wanted to pretend to be a mom, so she NEEDED my kids for her fantasy.
I got a private I... went to court again... new judge said, well, you cant prove that she is his paramour.
Basically he meant if I didn't have pictures of them kissing or doing something, then it didn't matter.
Well, after that, OW basically could be around my kids. She would call me about my kids during visitation, and wanted to be the person to do drop off...
yeah, their relationship only lasted about 6 weeks after that. After WH 'won' the divorce, he realized it wasn't me making him miserable, it was him. He dumped crazy OW shortly after.
Courts just don't care (atleast in my experience) . Makes me so mad!
But, most of these OWs don't want the kids around after a few times, they get in the way... Plus, your kids are at an age where they will start asking questions, and your WH might not want to answer (he might get rid of GF or have you keep the kids on his weekends)
*******************************I wanted to add-- keep heart. It will get better, and it will not be like this forever. Affair relationships usually break up. Keep being a good parent, focus on the kids and 180 your WH. Just talk about kids and finances, that's it.