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Unagie posted 10/28/2013 16:49 PM

I have read on this section for months, starting and deleting posts because of a wariness that I may not be welcome here. Perhaps that is foolish but I see so many names here I don't see anywhere else and so much pain I'm not sure if a wayward would be welcome as well as a betrayed, madhatter or not. I'm going to try to get over that wariness now. SO and I are separated. After my A and his subsequent A he has admitted that I have made him feel safe while he has done nothing but continuously try to do damage to me. We are still living together while I try to get my money right and in the mean time I feel torn apart watching him get dressed up, cologne on and look good to go to a bar. It hurts like a knife to the heart to know he still talks to the woman he fell in love with 8 yrs ago and has loved throughtout our relationship (he says no but she gets mentioned as his biggest regret multiple times throughout the yrs...I think part of me always knew). She has a boyfriend now but how much do you care about him if meeting up with the man you once loved is worth it.

I'm working on me through all this too. Not sure what I'm looking for in this post. Maybe just a hello and a dipping of my toe into this part of site.

betrayedfriend posted 10/28/2013 17:16 PM

I've seen a lot of your posts and can feel your pain radiating through them, while I can't speak for anyone else, I just wanted to say welcome to s&d and I'm here to offer support if I can. You have my admiration for being willing to take the risk of posting and working through your impending divorce and all the emotions surrounding it while still working on the issues that brought you to this site in the first place.

inconnu posted 10/28/2013 18:25 PM

hi unagie! welcome to D/S. I've read a lot of your posts. I'm so sorry you're hurting, but I know you're doing the hard work to heal and change yourself. Don't ever forget that you are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect.

nowiknow23 posted 10/28/2013 18:32 PM

Welcome, Unagie. ((((hugs))))

Nature_Girl posted 10/28/2013 18:36 PM

My only wariness about you is that you might post a picture of a spider here. I can't do spider pictures, not even in jest.

Threnody posted 10/28/2013 18:37 PM


I am here.

caregiver9000 posted 10/28/2013 19:12 PM


Pain is pain. Finding your way through the current situation is what we are all here for.

I don't know that "welcome" is the right word. But take a seat, put your feet up and have a vent, a cry, hollar FTG! with the rest of us.

You will be okay.

inconnu posted 10/28/2013 19:34 PM

ps, and a complete t/j - every time I see your username, I read it as the Un-Aggie. I think I've been in Texas too long.

(for those not in Texas or not into college football, the Aggies are Texas A&M)

Unagie posted 10/28/2013 19:47 PM

Thanks for the warm welcome .

Caregiver you're right pain is pain no matter what, I appreciate those words.

NG no worries, I keep my spider pics confined to F&G and I never expected that thread to take off lol, my cuteness thread only got 7 pages .

Inconnu my name is just a user name my brother came up with when I was 15 and we watched Friends with Ross saying unagie wasn't sushi, and was a state of total awareness.

Betrayedfriend, NIK, Thren thanks for the welcome.

Snapdragon posted 10/28/2013 20:31 PM

Unagie, welcome. Please feel open and comfortable to share. While this forum is primarily populated by the BS, that doesn't mean you aren't welcome. You will be supported.

So please pull up a chair at the table. Sip from the glass of compassion. Sample from the plate of experience.

Oh, and "unagie" is the Japanese word for freshwater eel. There is a special day in early summer where eel is served to give strength to suffer through the hot days to come. Interesting, eh?

Williesmom posted 10/28/2013 21:20 PM

Welcome, unagie. I always thought of the friends episode when I saw your name. Lol

Don't be shy- when I found SI, I was already divorced, so this was my first forum- kinda like home.

jackie89 posted 10/28/2013 21:35 PM

Welcome Unagie!

Unagie posted 10/28/2013 22:16 PM

Thank you all again for your welcome.

Nature_Girl posted 10/28/2013 23:01 PM

A friend just FB'd me a funny spider meme and I thought of you. LOL

Unagie posted 10/28/2013 23:27 PM

NG I actually snorted while laughing about that one lol.

gonnabe2016 posted 10/28/2013 23:53 PM

Just FYI, Unagie. D/S is a *spider-free* zone. Just sayin'

Honey, you are totally welcome down here. Your WBF absolutely and totally meets the FTG criterion.

-----I canNOT believe that you are still living with this guy----****I'm passing you some of my armor*****

dmari posted 10/29/2013 00:40 AM

I've read your posts over at Wayward and always appreciated how you respond and supported other WS.

It was very brave of you to wander her to D/S so that says something about you. I'm sorry that you are here but you will be in good hands.

SBB posted 10/29/2013 00:48 AM

Welcome. We have quite a few madhatters in here.

An important distinction that can be lost sometimes is that we are anti Unremorseful WS, not anti-WS. The Wayward forum is pretty anti-Unremorseful WS too, BTW.

There's s BS fog too - that time where we are so busy feeling hurt and in shock that we tolerate an unbelievable amount of bullshit.

she gets mentioned as his biggest regret multiple times throughout the yrs...I think part of me always knew

^^THIS is emotional abuse. I would be very surprised if this wayward mindset didn't result in a PA with this woman or some other low-hanging fruit long you became aware of his cheating.

Sad in AZ posted 10/29/2013 00:54 AM

Wait! It's not Un-Aggie??

You're an SI member; you belong in any forum you chose (provided you're allowed ) Shit; I've been D for 2.5 years, no residual attachment to the X, but I'm here frequently.

Softcentre posted 10/29/2013 01:28 AM

Unagie - you're remorseful and that makes a world of difference. You've done and are still doing the hard work on you. Personally, even if you weren't a MH, I'd be comfortable with you being on here,especially having read your posts in wayward.

But as a remorseful WS who was then betrayed, you also understand much of our pain.

I'm so sorry you're joining us here. ((hugs))

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