Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Anderson78

Just Found Out :
Why am I trying so hard?

This Topic is Archived
default

 Trying2Survive1 (original poster member #40022) posted at 7:58 AM on Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

I made the discovery accidentally. He confessed to that, and now I

wonder, at first i was on fire to reclaim him as mine. Now, he seems indifferent. who has changed here?

Madhatters, M 37yrs, many DDays
Both 60's, he now has stage 4 bladder cancer and in remission.
We're in solid R, there is hope!
Stop right there: I already don’t give a fuck ~ ty Greeneyesbluezy

posts: 436   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2013   ·   location: The Upside Down
id 6541116
default

devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 11:08 AM on Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

You both have changed. You are in pain and hurtng beyond belief. Take your time. It's a roller coaster ride for many, many months to come.

I don't know if your WS is feeling remorse or what, but believe me, you both have changed. Just breath and try to eat and exercise. Funny how the basic necessities of life now come into focus - something we never thought about but now have to remember just so we can physically survive.

You will get through this over time....."time" - such a small word - such a huge meaning. But, you will start to feel better - small steps.

[This message edited by devasted30 at 5:08 AM, October 29th (Tuesday)]

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6541140
default

annb ( member #22386) posted at 12:00 AM on Wednesday, October 30th, 2013

You are trying because you truly want to save your marriage...but it takes TWO.

What your WH needs to do is step up to the plate and give you everything you need to get through this nightmare....NC with OW, honesty, transparency, answering all your questions, access to phone, etc. Anything you feel YOU need to move forward.

Is he willing to do these things?

You have both changed, and in reality, both of you will never be the same.

Take one day at a time, take care of yourself as best as you can. Meet with your doctor if necessary.

((((Cyber hugs)))))

posts: 12239   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2009   ·   location: Northeast
id 6542143
default

tootrusting13 ( new member #40873) posted at 3:01 AM on Tuesday, November 19th, 2013

I feel for you, and I understand your pain and confusion. I just recently discovered my Wife of 38 years is having an affair with her AA Mentor (not exactly the help I hoped she'd get from AA!). She is "sorry" but basically doesn't want to talk about, feels we should just move on, etc. Its way to fresh, and there are too many unanswered questions for that. Its really hard when your WS isn't supportive and understanding, considering the pain and confusion they have caused in your life. Be patient, be clear as to what YOU need in order to heal.

Good luck.

BS 63

WS 61

D-Day 10.01.2013

posts: 8   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Oregon
id 6566776
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy