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Newest Member: mkei

General :
talk me down...

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 cuppacoffee (original poster member #39313) posted at 3:48 PM on Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

tell me not to go creep on OW's fb/twitter.

I haven't given a rat's behind about her in almost 3 weeks. But dh and I had a discussion (definitely not a fight but a discussion and of course I cried about it. He told me he forgot what it was like to be with her and it's in his past and he's over it. he knows he fucked up and he can't change it. I totally get that but alas I'm stuck here.)

Now I'm feeling like I want to check skankface out. I know none of her actions now have anything to do with my life but I just want to hear or see that karma hits her for this.

The husband no longer associates with those who associate with skankface so unless I snope I won't know.

Talk me out of it.

I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

posts: 363   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2013
id 6541419
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simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 4:00 PM on Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

She is not worth your time or energy. Don't give her another thought. Instead use that energy to continue to work on your marriage.

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6541433
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PinkJeepLady ( member #37575) posted at 4:41 PM on Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

DON'T LOOK!

What I can do is give you some ideas of things to do instead.

Are you at work? Take a walk outside and do some other people watching. Here's a game I like to play, "best tatoo of the day". See if you can find one. I also play fashion police in my mind, so fun.

If you can get outside and walk in the fresh air that might really help. I hope you are somewhere where you can see the fall colors of the leaves, or maybe some mountains, lakes? Can you go power walk in a mall, window shopping?

When I am tempted to so something like you are fighting against, I will leave my ipad in the car overnight. The urge passes faster when technology isn't at your fingertips. Leave your phone locked in your car for a couple hours.

How about a diversion with coffee? Can you grab a completely different flavor than you have ever tried? I am addicted to chai tea, have you tried it? Wish I could pick you up in the pink jeep to grab a cup.

Please just keep trying to think of things that you enjoy and focus on them. Think of what you can DO, not what you are trying NOT to do. How about a massage, mani or pedi?

You can do this, you are so right, she isn't worth your time because YOU are busy LIVING YOUR LIFE!!!!

Take care

Me: BW Him: FWH
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas
Reconciled - thought so, but now divorcing

posts: 786   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2012   ·   location: Out West
id 6541482
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SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 4:55 PM on Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

People like OW don't tell truth, they paint a rosey picture on FB to make the world believe they are fantastic.

She may even be hoping that you look or hear about what she's orchestrated on her FB.

Read a fiction book instead- it would be just as real.

Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

posts: 1292   ·   registered: Sep. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Sunny Florida
id 6541506
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Lovedyoumore ( member #35593) posted at 5:20 PM on Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

If you sense your H might still be interested or if the OW is still interested in him, then look around for evidence.

But, it sounds like you two are past this now. Do not look at it. It will only make you mad. It seems the skankier (is that a word?) they are the more they post those holier than thou quotes about life and love and staying true and pure.

Just take the opportunity to post your own happiness.

Me 50's
WH 50's
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose

posts: 3626   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Southern, bless your heart
id 6541539
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 cuppacoffee (original poster member #39313) posted at 5:24 PM on Tuesday, October 29th, 2013

I tried telling him last night there is no guarantee he was her first or last married man.

He said "oh she's not like that."

uh huh.

Then I said to him "did you tell her the truth about everything?" His answer : No. Well then why do you expect her to be 100% honest.

I just hope one day it all sinks in.

Thanks guys.

Skankface can live happily ever after on the FB with her fake life.

I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

posts: 363   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2013
id 6541546
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