Why the fuck would he try to guilt me into staying??
Because he wants you to stay and he doesn't know any other way to prevent you from leaving. If you think about it, this is actually more sad than anything.
Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.
You know the truth.
Walk towards the direction you see yourself happy, content and thriving.
You will be ok. This is all on him.
How can anyone R with an unremorseful, self-righteous, over-entitled so and so like your H?
Sorry you're stuck. I hope you can somehow get him to face himself.
[This message edited by sisoon at 10:48 AM, October 29th (Tuesday)]
((((lostinthismess))))
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” ― Pema Chödrön
If you divorce and if he really and truly has decided to be a stand-up, amazing man, husband, and father - then he'll fight to change your opinion of him whether you divorce him or not. He would go to the ends of the earth (even AFTER a divorce) to show you respect, love, etc so that you'd believe and trust him and someday love him.
Until then - HE had the affair - Like I told my wh -
Everything has a consequence - HE chose the action, *I* get to choose the consequence. He may not like the consequence, but I don't give a rat's ass.
Yes, the divorce IS you. Just as the affair was his doing, the divorce will be your doing...
I'm just a cold heartless unforgiving bitch that has passed judgement on poor him. What the fuck. I will be the one responsible for ruining our kids lives also.
This is where he's wrong. These are NOT the things you are doing by divorcing. You are standing up for morals and decency, for truth and for being treated respectfully. You are teaching your children very valuable lessons about what to accept (via Mom's actions) and what NOT to do (via Dad's actions). You are doing what is fair and expected, and you are basing the rest of your life on honesty and integrity. THAT is what you are doing.
He's an ass for trying to guilt you, and you 'have' to give him a chance to fix it? Really? Did he give you a chance to ask him not to cheat?
The entitlement just never ends with some people. So sad.
[This message edited by Lostinthismess at 1:38 PM, October 29th (Tuesday)]
It just reminds me of spineless dudes who can't break up with girls, but just act like assholes until the girl breaks up with them. Then SHE'S the baddie. Just.Grow.Up.
Note: accepting the consequences is only one of many characteristics of remorse. Accepting the consequences is necessary to show remorse, but accepting the consequences on its own isn't enough to show remorse.
Um...no. The expected consequence of fucking another woman while married is divorce.
He was fully conscious during his affair,right? Is he now?
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
[This message edited by Lostinthismess at 1:44 PM, October 29th (Tuesday)]
How in the world can you not "imagine life without her"? Your very actions almost guaranteed it. It's not one of those unimagined side effects. Cheating ends relationships. It's designed to end relationships. It's entire function, in part, is ending relationships either by proxy, substitution, or in reality. ~Author unknown
My husband has to look at this everytime he comes into my office. I would suggest you hand your WH a copy. Maybe then he might actually "get it", because right now he isn't.
He is blaming everyone and everything for his actions. He did this not you.. Noone put a gun to his head and said hey man screw her again! Sorry don't buy his shit.
