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Triggering from ex emailing

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dindy posted 10/29/2013 13:45 PM

So over the past few xWS had been contacting me via his gmail account instead of texting. This is really triggering me as he and OW used to contact each other via gmail. And he never used to contact me this way.

Now all I can see is a naked picture that OW sent to his gmail ac that I found on his ac.

What a wanker. It makes me think that he and OW are probably in contact again and I doubt he even realises, or cares, how this is affecting me.

How do I manage to stop triggering over this?

HurtsButImOK posted 10/29/2013 13:58 PM

I have a similar situation with Hotmail. My x and I never communicated through it, that was his special whores account. I set my boundaries, informed him that communication would only be received from his x account and Hotmail had been blocked.

Made me see red to receive an email from his Hotmail account, I am not one of his whores

JanaGreen posted 10/30/2013 09:22 AM

I'm sorry. If you asked him to communicate via text would he do that? You could say you have a lot of emails coming in and sometimes his get buried? (This is very true for me).

Rainbows posted 10/30/2013 09:31 AM

I would probably block that email address and tell him via text that you're not getting his emails anymore and prefer he text you.

Maybe you can unblock it down the road after some time has passed. In the meantime, avoiding the trigger will help with your healing.

painfulpast posted 10/30/2013 09:36 AM

I feel you. My H had a facebook account that was just for him and OW. He even told me he would NEVER have a 'stupid fb account' and the entire time he had one. So fast forward to earlier this year. His cell phone stops texting, and for a few days we were communicating via FB, just like they did. At first I cringed, but then I realized - he is MY husband. She is gone. This is just a method to communicate. It helped, somewhat.

Also, the email acct he had that he set up the FB account I took over right after DDay as it had all of the "XXXX sent you a message on FB" along with what her messages were. He created a new account with the same name with a 1 at the end of it. He recently told his sister that he 'forgot the password to his account, and now has to use a stupid 1 at the end of it'. I wanted to scream "NO, I TOOK THAT WHORE ACCOUNT AND I STILL HAVE IT" but I just let it go.

These communication tools are really huge triggers. The only thing we can do, if anything, is to acknowledge they are just tools, nothing more.

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