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ajsmom posted 10/29/2013 14:26 PM

Oh, my.

It looks like I won’t be seeing AJ for Christmas for the first time – well, ever – in his life. Originally he was to fly in on Christmas Eve and spend the 24th – 29th as usual jostling between his dad and I and our families. Weeellll…as it turns out, his dad and stepmom have planned a vacation in Nevada over the holidays (his dad is a big time off road motorcycle hobbyist) and they won’t be home. On one of his check-in calls with his dad, they got to talking about the trip and AJ and his GF have been welcomed to join them for some of the time. He then asked my opinion, and over the big swollen knot in my throat, I mumbled something like “Well, I knew this day would eventually come”…”You’re getting up there in age and your plans can’t center around me”…”blah, blah”, swallow hard, “blah, blah.”

I can’t hardly blame the kid given his choices – winter in Wisconsin – Vegas with dad and stepmom (who is wonderful to AJ by the way) – winter in Wisconsin…yeah, I get it. Plus, they’ll be there two weeks so his dad could easily also drive to see him and spend some time in Sandy Eggo.

I’m trying to keep the old chin up as he is coming into town the weekend after next for a GTG and football game with his college buddies at his alma mater and has me on his calendar to spend the Sunday and Monday afterward together, but still…Christmas without my kid?

Damn…not sure how well I’ll handle this. Good thing (?) I have two months to ruminate about it.



ETA: Trust me, I'll be making the most of our time together coming up soon.

[This message edited by ajsmom at 2:31 PM, October 29th (Tuesday)]

lieshurt posted 10/29/2013 14:30 PM

Well that just sucks. I'm sorry.

tryingagain74 posted 10/29/2013 14:37 PM

You're a good woman. I'm not sure I'll be so strong when/if the time comes. There isn't any way he can spend at least one day with you in that time?

ajsmom posted 10/29/2013 14:47 PM

There isn't any way he can spend at least one day with you in that time?

Nope. Airfare would be ridiculous.

heartache101 posted 10/29/2013 15:01 PM

Aww honey I know.
I have one that is flying to Japan over Christmas but he did ask first.
I make no demands of my kids all year. Never have but I have always said if 12 noon comes and it is Christmas and your arse isn't here you better start prayin!
Maybe you can get to go visit them and get to catch some sunshine over the New Year??

nowiknow23 posted 10/29/2013 17:19 PM


jo2love posted 10/29/2013 17:20 PM


hexed posted 10/29/2013 17:26 PM

((aj)) can you go crash his place sometime around Christmas?

Its a long way to go but you are welcome to crash my Christmas. We're doing nothing exciting except watching any football we can find and eating too much

Crescita posted 10/29/2013 17:27 PM


thebighurt posted 10/29/2013 17:34 PM

(((ajsmom))) I'm sorry. That would be a blow for sure.

k94ever posted 10/29/2013 17:36 PM

Hey Girl.....come up here and spend the night with me.

I'm doing the Marvel Comics Movie Marathon on Christmas day and will be serving excellent wines and a wonderful pear brandy I just ordered in for my store.


FaithFool posted 10/29/2013 19:51 PM

Well I'm childless but I can understand how that must feel.

However, you could take this as an opportunity to create some new traditions just for you.

Spa day, deluxe dinner out, etc.

Start making a list and go for it.

purplejacket4 posted 10/29/2013 20:31 PM

There's no way you can go to where your son is in Dec or Jan?

NaiveAgain posted 10/29/2013 21:58 PM

I'm sorry, it is really hard, especially the first time we have a holiday without our little ones (even when they are bigger they are still my little ones)

In my family, we have had to get used to it, so I've learned not to pay attention to the actual dates.

I have one that is flying to Japan over Christmas but he did ask first.
Yup. Me too. My oldest will be there with her husband. It won't be the same, but we will celebrate OUR official Christmas when she gets home, probably some time in February (gives me more time to shop...I hate the rush anyway).....

Sad in AZ posted 10/30/2013 00:16 AM

But it does get easier. I've been doing this for several years now. I wish we lived closer to each other; we could keep each other company. No chance of my getting away for one day. Oh well...

Catwoman posted 10/30/2013 04:30 AM

My day is coming on this one--the oldest CatKid starts her clinical year next year, and will only have sporadic time off and no guarantee of time off at Christmas (although she will get a week somewhere around there--just not guaranteed to hit "the day."

It's tough.

You're welcome to come to Boston. We gots all sorts of stuff happening here and plenty of cold weather so you won't miss it.


She11ybeanz posted 10/30/2013 08:00 AM


I totally get it darlin! I love my baby girl more than anything in the world....and I celebrate every holiday with her like a national holiday! I look so forward to those memories....but I also know that one day she will get older....and slowly but surely be venturing out of the nest more and more. I dread those moments....but they are inevitable. He will have fun...but have some peace in knowing he will miss you during his 1st Christmas without his amazing mom....and he will feel your heartbreak....and it will steal his joy just a little bit. I know he loves you so much because you are so great! He will miss you too! But, this will be a fun, new experience for him in his life and you can create ones of your own for the two of you! And, then, next can have an extra special make-up Christmas celebration!!! Plan something awesome to do together next year AND this year when he gets back! (like a trip or a new tradition!)

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:02 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)]

ajsmom posted 10/30/2013 09:11 AM

Awwww, you special peeps, you. You’re gonna make me cry, and gee, thanks......I HATE MASCARA!

I'm thinking of a trip in January (for both our birthdays) - I wouldn't bust in with his dad's time in December. I’m sure they would welcome me, but it wouldn’t be fair. His GF is going to be with her family the 21st – 25th, and as long as he's with family over Christmas, it'll all be good. Geez, you’d think the kid was 10 the way I’m behaving.

My wonderful sister has already claimed me for the holidays once she heard the news, so I'll be fine. If I know her, she’s got every minute planned. Will I be a bit lonely without him? Yes, but I’ll be fine.

However...your offers sound tremendous! And are quite enticing...

I truly feel loved right now, and you all need to know how great that feels!

Newlease posted 10/30/2013 09:46 AM


I feel your disappointment. My holidays have never been the same since the D. I never see my sons on Christmas eve or Christmas Day, but we manage to squeeze in one day sometime over the holidays.

At first it was really tough for me, but it got easier. Especially when I got the stories from them about spending time with XWH and his family. They will always love me best, even when we aren't together. And I know it isn't a contest - but they do love me best!

You will be ok - you know your son loves you best, even when he's spending time with dad.

Sending strength and peace.


[This message edited by Newlease at 9:47 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)]

little turtle posted 10/30/2013 12:39 PM

(((ajsmom))) I'm glad to hear that your sister will keep you super busy over the holiday.

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