I'm happy today.
I have to admit that's a weird thing to say given that today is the 2nd antiversary for our first Dday, but it's true.
We've both been triggery this month as Dday approaches - possibly me more than him to be honest, it's like I've been waiting for the big fall out.
I woke up today and LH said "happy antiversary". I looked up a little disconcerted waiting for the sarcastic hit, but he was serious. We discussed it and I asked how he was feeling.
Some of you may remember that date were a massive thing for LH; them and my lack of ability to remember them.
But today he said to me on the way to work: you know I don't feel any different today than yesterday. I mean I'm a bit triggery about the tie of year; but the date thing really doesn't get to me anymore.
Er HUGE DEAL people. I mean HUGE!!! I couldn't believe the change LH has gone through, we have gone through in the last year.
Sure we have work to do. Of course we are not "over this". But we have the trust and verify relationship well under control. Our boundaries are solid and I he even told me he feels safe with me.
He rang me from work today and sked if I'd like to go out and do something nice. I felt so loved. I suggested we went for dinner, so we did. And it was lovely.
I told him afterwards I felt awkward about asking him if he wanted to do anything today, because he was a little non committal a few weeks ago when I mentioned it, and I didn't want to push it. I believe the BS has to decide how they would like to handle the antiversary.. last year Lh just wanted me to leave it alone. This year I thought it might be the same, but no.
He told me next year, I should plan something for us to do.
I didn't know if we'd get here, and I certainly never thought we'd get here by the 2nd year.
I'm so proud of LH. I'm so sad I ever hurt him and jeopardised our M.
What an idiot.
Love you LH. x