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cluttercow posted 10/29/2013 18:42 PM

2013 has been so bad. February I had a double heart attack at 38. April our dog of 13 years died of cancer. May was a better month oh how wrong I was my son found out my husband cheated on me these demons are eating me alive I tried to commit suside but all I did was hurt those around me. Now I have panic attack s when he leaves the house

Kalliopeia posted 10/29/2013 20:21 PM

I have panic attacks all the time from what happened.

I totally get it. Had 2 today.

You aren't alone. Hugs from a fellow Iowan.

Chippednotbroken posted 10/29/2013 20:39 PM

I get them too. I've learned coping techniques. You can research behavioral therapy if meds aren't your thing. Learn to survive till you can get past it.

momof1girl posted 10/29/2013 22:00 PM

Oh, cluttercow, I am so sorry. I know too well what those feel like. I wish there was a way to take them from you and add them to my own :(
It's been 28 days since my D-Day and I have lived in a perpetual panic attack. Some days are better than others and I'm learning to look for those days.

HardenMyHeart posted 10/30/2013 00:53 AM

(((cluttercow))) Welcome to SI. So sorry for what you are going through.

I also had a series of bad things happen to me around the time I found out my wife cheated. As a result, I suffered from bad anxiety attacks. Something that helped me was a guided imagery podcast from Kaiser Permanente. I suggest you start with the podcast for panic attacks. Here is a link to the site:

I have also found meditation to be a tremendous help. I began daily meditation a few years ago and it really helped calm my mind. You may want to find a meditation class in your area to get started.

The other big help to me was exercise. It's tough to get started when you're feeling stressed or ill, but it makes a difference. Since you have had some health problems, you should probably check with your doctor about what is appropriate exercise for you.

[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 1:00 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)]

Rainbows posted 10/30/2013 01:35 AM


My heart goes out to you. I, too, suffered from debilitating panic attacks since dday. I also have nightmares (wake up screaming) regularly.

I've started working on PTSD in IC because I believe that's the root of the problem in my case.

My shrink said the nightmares and attacks should happen with less frequency as I start to feel more safe.

Are you seeing someone presently? Perhaps look for someone that specializes in PTSD. Focusing on that has helped me tremendously. I will work on the other issues as I recover more from the shock and trauma.

Sending you hugs and light.

Crushed1 posted 10/30/2013 11:28 AM

((((Cluttercow)))) I read your profile and my heart goes out to you, you've certainly endured a lot, especially this year. I hope you've recovered well from your heart attack.

I'm glad you survived your suicide attempt and thank God you're still here. I know the pain is overwhelming sometimes and we don't think we can survive it at the time, but we all do. Always remember your life is a gift and NO ONE is worth your life. Please call a hotline or someone in your life or post here for help if you have those feelings again.

Check out the Healing Library, the link is in the yellow box to your left of the screen, there is a lot of enlightening information in there. Keep posting, we're here for you.

Dyinghere posted 11/16/2013 00:20 AM

I've known for a month. I am also having panic attacks. Shaking, can't breathe, flooded with it is like nothing I have ever felt before. Truly agony.

Dawn58 posted 11/16/2013 10:04 AM


You have been through so much this year, no wonder you are having panic attacks. I've had them for years, so I understand what you are going through.

When I have a panic attack, I do deep breathing. Slowly breath in to a count of 4, hold the breath for a count of 7 and then slowly release it to a count of 7. Most of the symptoms I am feeling, are related to hyperventilating. I also found out I can't hyperventilate when I sing, so I'll crank up some tunes and sing.

I also discovered that I was having thoughts that were scaring me and most of those thoughts would never actually happen. I worked with an IC who did behavioral therapy and that was most helpful.

Once you are no longer afraid of the panic attacks, they will have no power over you.

You are a strong woman, stronger than you know. Read the healing library, post here often, be gentle with yourself and treat yourself well. You deserve it.

catatonic posted 11/16/2013 11:24 AM

The first time it happened to me I had the phone ready to call 911. Thought for sure I was having a massive MI. And my kids would find me dead in the morning. Breathing techniques from my pregnancies took me out if it. I so understand how you are feeling now.
I took a yoga class last week. Had never taken one before. I'm not an expert. But the relaxing techniques gave me a different perspective of my body. The instructor was very positive. And I would really recommend it. Even if you do it on your own in you own house.

loyalwoman posted 11/16/2013 12:11 PM

Hugs cluttercow
(If you're okay with hugs from a newbie.)

When H and I separated, I had panic attacks. I've never been one for meds, but I have found that an as-needed benzodiazepine (ativan, valium) has helped me when I feel one coming on. What's been mostly helpful is meditation, though. If I meditate at the beginning of the day, which I'm trying to make into a habit, I don't get as overwhelmed the rest of the day. A friend told me about a meditation challenge and I've been doing that. I think it's about self-empowerment. But guided relaxation is awesome too.

I think when we go through so much in our lives we have to remember to put taking care of ourselves first. I'm learning that soothing the internal chaos first helps me better deal with everything else. I'm so sorry for all you've been through and glad that you're still here. You can and will get to the other side of this, wiser and stronger.

ETA: That last sentence is what I've repeated to myself. A little mantra, I suppose, to help me get through.

[This message edited by loyalwoman at 12:12 PM, November 16th (Saturday)]

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