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brknwmn (original poster member #40603) posted at 12:57 AM on Wednesday, October 30th, 2013
Yesterday me and FWH had a really deep convo. I've been a bitch here lately and I'm still trying to work through my anger. He's been understanding so I give him that. Anyway...fast forward and our conversation ended with both of us feeling heard and hopeful.
I think b/c of my dad cheating and abusing my mom I saw her constantly put on a fake happy face...(and I learned how to do that very quickly). I realized I had been bottling everything up...the bad and the good...
and him. well his dad slept with God knows how many women and his mother never confronted him...she was a doormat...and openly admits it...(they are still married with a 9 year old son) and I don't think that his father has yet changed...my FWH unfortunately pick up this bad habit (what he didn't count on was a loud mouth wife who pops like a soda bottle when pushed too far...
well what we decided to do was keep a truth journal. like a diary but for both of us...while we figure out how to open up. (me being so used to my fake smile & him being so used to his family NEVER talking about ANYTHING)But it's a place to vent our frustrations w/o yelling at each other...and to brag about our happy times/hopes/etc.
our rules are to read what we want, respond if we like (but only out of love), and write what we need to get out...
I'm excited...oh! and he also on his own did some research and has ordered Shark Weakness (a marriage survival guide) & has been reading After the Affair...he's really putting in the work...I'm proud and hopeful
Me: 26 BS Him: 29 WH
Together since Dec 2005
officially done 10-30-13
Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.
musiclovingmom ( member #38207) posted at 1:20 AM on Wednesday, October 30th, 2013
We have a journal that we share. I love it. I found it very helpful in having some conversations neither of us really wanted to have out loud.
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