Dont think this is thread jacking...as it ties to texting.
The "cool" part of this whole experience is how it can lead to personal growth and improvement in all involved.
The pain sucks...the pay off may not be worth the pain...but lets look at what this can do for us...
Texting in the context of a real relationship can be just sharing little thoughts and showing that you're being remembered (a big thing for me as I was so conveniently forgotten for so long) but in an A texting is as blakesteele says.
The way I read it is he's saying you're more important to him than a text, and would rather talk to you.
...well said.
The training I spoke of is not unlike many I have been to over the 20 years that my professional career spans....so this news is not new-to-me.
What IS new-to-me is the perspective I entered that training with...and my new perspective was ushered in by my wifes choice to committ adultery....this is the "cool" part I was referring too.
I like what Marthonwaseasy refers to here...and it jives with the training. That emails, texts, and memos serve a purpose and a role....they can nurture a connection real-life contact has already started.
I can see the danger at work, within my management efforts of relying too heavily on texting, emails and memos.
The human connection is at risk...loosing connections within "the team", which leads to loss of ownership and buy in and loss of production or forward movement. That one is easy to pick out.
But how about this one?
Just like my wife read way more into her relationship with her fAP due to primarily a texting-email type of exchange (80% of the A was sustained via this form of communication...a rough estimate as i dont know exactly how many hours per week they were physically together) and very limited face and voice time....allowing her to believe it was more "special" then it was, that it was "better" then it was...so is the risk I run within my areas of responsibility. Thinking my projects were running better then I thought they were.
(I have been guilty of too many emails, texts, and short to the point memos)
When I rely too strongly on these forms of communication and displace real human-connecting forms...I have run the risk of fooling MYSELF! I have projected my ownership, my buy-in of a particular project onto my team.
I know I have done this because it has bitten me in the butt! I have distinct recollection of being shocked to find out Foreman A doesn't really care about overtime, he values time with his family more. I inferred I was doing him a favor by providing an opportunity to make more money to take care of his family. I presented this opportunity via texting. Perhaps I communicated to him that he was ONLY as valuable as a text...no one wants to feel that way so he worked with my text and drew a larger conclusion, more of a story behind it than was warranted...he felt some pride that I needed his help (as he falsely assumed his specific help was needed, the project would not succeed without his overtime hours) and he felt some trepidation as to what that would mean to his family.
Had I actually taken any real time with him I would have learned that, at that point in his life, he valued time with his family over getting out of the tight financial spot he was in.
Overtime was optional, but my use of text allowed him to infer that it was mandatory ...even though I used the word "optional" in the text. I missed 70% of the tools needed to fully explain my desires, the true nature of the program status..so he did what he could, he filled in the blanks. He had ownership enough to come in for overtime, but resentment was building.
I missed the opportunity to really connect with this foreman...and ran the risk of generating serious resentment. Luckily, we visited on this in person, after the first week and corrected the false inferring that took place.
That particular Foreman now works all the overtime he can get....but he and I visit verbally and in person a lot more often.
I now have a new appreciation for real-life, in person communication and the fact that relaionships, such as that with this foreman, are dynamic. Regular in-person connection is a never ending mode of operation...it is were real human connections are sustained and grown.
It is our society that pushes us to do more with less...smart phones are just the latest technology that make this a "realistic expectation".
I enjoy working and desire to be productive. I valued the speed and efficiency that texts, memos, and emails afforded me. I now see what it costs me.
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 8:21 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)]