I’m about 11 weeks from DDay, trying to reconcile with my BF. I’m a teacher, and 2 weeks ago, I was in charge of chaperoning three of my students to a different part of the country for a national competition.
Some professors from the university that was running the competition were acting as judges, and all were extremely friendly to me and my students.
I started getting the heeby-jeebies during the competition, when I caught 2 of them leering at me when they should have been evaluating the students…
Immediately after the competition, one of the professors (a distinguished-looking older British man) approached me and immediately asked to exchange business cards (I live in Japan – It’s common practice to give out your business card to everyone you meet and their dog). I made a brief comment to my colleague on the way back that I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one of them sent me a flirtatious e-mail soon.
Imagine my surprise when that flirtatious e-mail arrived this morning. Barf.
Dear TheAnswerIs42*,
Great meeting you last Saturday! Your radiant smile
illuminated the whole venue...
Well, now that this channel of communication has
opened, let's keep in touch from time to time, and if you
happen to hop down to ____________ for any reason, be sure to
let me know, so we can show you our favourite spots.
Best of luck,
Hoping to Get Down With you, PhD*
*names may have been changed
I showed the e-mail to my BF yesterday, and his response was “I don’t know if he’s necessarily trying to start an affair with you.” To me, this was clearly more than a congenial e-mail to a colleague. I said that even if this wasn’t a clear invitation, “keep a channel of communication open” is just fancy-talk for “let’s #&%! when we are in the same area code.” The fact that BF can’t see the clear signaling makes me worry. If he can’t see a clear sign like this that a man is hitting on me, will that make him more susceptible to falling into situations like this in the future? He also doesn't seem worried or jealous that another man has clearly made an advance. It’s frustrating.