Oh, and according to him, he's not done anything 'really bad' like have a PA as a EA is NOT serious and he remains 'friends' with this OW. Apparently, 'if he and I remain together, I'm going to be thinking what a fool I was for making it more than it realky is, in a couple of months time. Really?
*Please forgive mistakes as typed on phone.*
'If you come into my life, the door is open; If you leave my life, the door is open; Just one request, don'
Ow1 and 2 both have tried to be 'friends', been pyschos etc.
But you know what, he hasn't bitten at all. I wish he hated them, but he's indifferent (apparently that's ideal anyway). You will hit a point when enough is enough.
Nature girl (a awesome member of this forum) when my wh and I were experiencing DV, answered my question to 'when is it enough' painted it visually for me. That was the breaking point for me. I know I won't accept it anymore and he knows it and for 6 months nothing.
So I want to do it for you
Imagine he's sitting next to her at the table and he's got his hand on her leg, slowly moving up...
How do you know that doesn't happen
How do you know that one day you will arrive home earlier and he's fucking her in your bed?
Okay I'm not as good as it as Nature Girl, but the point is you only know your breaking point. Either way he's disrespecting you disastrously and you are worth more than what you are saying your worth to him.
And he sounds like a fuckhead btw. I mean mine has said things like "moving forward" "our future looks bright" to try and shut me up. But if he ever said that...
He would have a deathwish.
I wish I had put my bitch boots on as soon as I knew about their friendship. It might have saved me from this hell and my H might have come out of the fog sooner.
This is your H's problem, but the nature of the A beast sometimes requires aggressive intervention. Do not let him make you accept his poor boundary behavior.
[This message edited by Lovedyoumore at 10:04 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)]
I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.
Lovedyoumore, you are absolutely correct, I should be putting on my bitch boots but something is still holding me back and I can't tell you what it is...... still need to do some serious soul searching to find what defines 'ME' rather than what define 'US'. I've started reading "Not just friends" but there is no way I'll be able to get him to read it as he had no interest and is convinced he hasn't behaved badly. Lots of soul searching to do...... Thank you all for reading my vent and support that you give.
My situation is related in that it was certainly and EA, not yet sure about PA, but I can sense similar undertones to how my WH responds to questions. It is still very new for me and he says he wants to R, but I am not convinced he knows what that means. I so wish I could put on my bitch boots too and I like you have no idea what's stopping me. I am waiting to read that book also, so arrive tomorrow. WH is trying, its slow, I hope yours can come around and realize his behavior is unacceptable. Having found this site has been a huge help in keeping my sanity lately, I hope you find some solace and advice here that can help you get where you want to be.