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O M G! It happened and I didn't even realize it.

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Flatlined123 posted 10/30/2013 05:05 AM

True forgiveness and reconciliation. It just snuck up on me. I realized that I forgive my H.

He may not be perfect, but neither am I. The thing is, he is regretful and remorseful. And for the right reasons. Not because he's ashamed, but because he sees what his actions did to me/us and how hurtful they were.

I think I've hit acceptance too. I no longer beat myself up thinking how dumb I was to trust and no see what was going on right in front of me.

When I think about it, I can go deep into that rabbit hole. It hurts. Frankly, that betrayal will always hurt, but it doesn't gut me and leave me bleeding and breathless like before. It's more like an old wound that has healed, but you have to live with the limp its left you with everyday. The knowledge that my H had an affair is part of my life.

The thing is that it just doesn't define our M anymore. It hurts if I rub it, but not as much. I know it will never be gone, but it's so much better.

cantaccept posted 10/30/2013 05:09 AM

Happy for you.

I am just beginning to see that the possibility of this pain not being the focus of everyday. Not there yet but see that it is possible.

Marathonwaseasy posted 10/30/2013 05:11 AM

I really hope to reach that point. Well done you x

authenticnow posted 10/30/2013 05:18 AM

Flatlined,

I'm happy for you!

authenticnow posted 10/30/2013 05:19 AM

Flatlined,

I'm glad you are making positive steps forward!

AN

TheAmazingWondertwin posted 10/30/2013 05:36 AM

Flatlined- this is such a great post! Thank you for sharing :) congratulations! I am in a similar situation and I define it as "cautiously comfortable." I don't know that ill ever let my guard down, and it still hurts- but yes- the profuse bleeding has stopped.
I'm very happy for you!

AFrayedKnot posted 10/30/2013 05:59 AM

Awesome!!! Thank you for the hope.

SurprisinglyOkay posted 10/30/2013 06:21 AM

Sammy2013 posted 10/30/2013 07:24 AM

Reading posts like this give me hope at barely a month from DDay. Ivan only hope I can get to this point.

HardenMyHeart posted 10/30/2013 08:33 AM

nowiknow23 posted 10/30/2013 08:38 AM

Wonderful.

painfulpast posted 10/30/2013 08:39 AM

*clap clap clap*

It's wonderful to let go of some of that anger and hate, isn't it? It's like the world is suddenly in color again!! I'm so happy for you!!!

sailorgirl posted 10/30/2013 08:51 AM

Flatlined, that is awesome. I'm so glad for you that the A does not define your marriage. Acceptance sounds so easy, but it's totally not. Good for you!

When I read these posts, I think, "Someday, that'll be me." Someday

Blobette posted 10/30/2013 08:58 AM

So happy for you. Such a big moment!

Searchingforhope posted 10/30/2013 16:03 PM

Very encouraging post...thanks so much for sharing!

LA44 posted 10/30/2013 17:03 PM

It's more like an old wound that has healed, but you have to live with the limp its left you with everyday. The knowledge that my H had an affair is part of my life.

Thank you Flatlined - this is a great post. Happy for you.

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