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he wants me back...of course he does..

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ideservebetter45 posted 10/30/2013 09:46 AM

He had an affair and divored me.He left me and my dd for the ow.He was so in love.Never gave me a chance.NOW... he is crying he wants his family back.I was the perfect wife and mom.As much as I want my family back..its a little too late

NewMom0220 posted 10/30/2013 09:48 AM

I'm sorry ideservebetter45, that has to be very conflicting to hear. I'm sure it was something you wanted to hear for a long time, but now it is too late.

(((ideservebetter45)))

nowiknow23 posted 10/30/2013 09:51 AM

(((((ideservebetter))))

ideservebetter45 posted 10/30/2013 10:07 AM

Thank you. I am very sad.I wanted it so bad.I wanted it for my dd.Why now?? Why? My heart hurts so very bad.It would make dd so happy. but he hurt me too bad..too much..too many times..

suckstobeme posted 10/30/2013 10:13 AM

It's just another example of cruelty and selfishness. And, another example of his truly broken insides. Normal, healthy people don't demolish their wives and children like that, only to try to go back and pour salt in the wound once the "love" with OW fades.

I'm sorry he did that to you. They have no idea how badly we wish they would stand up and fight for us at the moment the bomb goes off. It's just way too late now.

ideservebetter45 posted 10/30/2013 10:19 AM

very, very cruel..so painful.Thank you all so much for the replies..

hexed posted 10/30/2013 10:23 AM

its awful! I hated it when my X did this kind of stuff too me.

you do deserve better!

Gr8Lady posted 10/30/2013 10:40 AM

Take this admission that all things come full circle. You do deserve better.
The grass is not always greener. In many situations, when a WS choses the AP with romantic illusions of great romantic vision, the bubble burst when normal day to life sets in. The exciting affair begins to show signs of cracks, and the comparison to the quality partner betrayed and left behind begins to look much more inviting.
I have often thought if the WS would put as much effort into the marriage as carrying on the affair.....there would be less affairs and stronger marriages. IMHO

Just my thoughts.

Nature_Girl posted 10/30/2013 10:56 AM

That would floor me. I'm wishing you lots of strength & resiliency in getting past this. ((((HUGS)))

Chrysalis123 posted 10/30/2013 10:56 AM

Why now?? Why?

Because he is a selfish, self absorbed person lacking empathy. He either cannot understand at all what he did to you and your child or he doesn't care.

He is hoping he can manipulate your kind nature, yet how could you ever fully trust he would not do something like this again?

He is broken and not liking his new reality and looking for a soft place to fall.

ideservebetter45 posted 10/30/2013 11:08 AM

Because he is a selfish, self absorbed person lacking empathy. He either cannot understand at all what he did to you and your child or he doesnt care.

This...exactly..

sparkysable posted 10/30/2013 11:19 AM

Thank you. I am very sad.I wanted it so bad.I wanted it for my dd.Why now?? Why? My heart hurts so very bad.It would make dd so happy. but he hurt me too bad..too much..too many times..
and he would do it again. and again. and you would have to start over again. the 2nd affair after R hurts worse than the first. you are lucky you got out when you did.

StillLivin posted 10/30/2013 11:43 AM

I'm sorry he did that to you. They have no idea how badly we wish they would stand up and fight for us at the moment the bomb goes off. It's just way too late now.

^^^this.
I am sooo sorry. I feel your pain. My STBWXH has been calling, texting, emailing constantly. We have a dog that was bitten by a rattlesnake. He is now out of the woods and well on his way to full recovery. I know my H. Things aren't going so well. He is using this as a way "in". It's only a matter of time. I cannot help but ask, "Why couldn't he see this when I, me me me me, needed this?"
It's because he is selfish. Too little too late. Stand your ground. Your DD does not need him hurting her mommy over and over and over. He is coming back tail between his legs, but he hasn't done the work on himself...not true remorse.
hugs, lots of them!

Holly-Isis posted 10/30/2013 12:07 PM

I bet if you asked him why he deserves a second chance after betrayal and ripping your heart out, your DD's heart out and decimating your M and family he would actually try to come up with a reason. Like I've learned my lesson or I'll make you happier than ever before.

Rather than the true answer of he doesn't deserve another chance.

When we come at things as though we deserve them when we really don't, we never truly appreciate them for the gift that they are.

I'm sorry he's bringing this pain and conflict back into your life with his selfishness.

Spelljean posted 10/30/2013 12:21 PM

This happens so often. The grass is rarely greener.

But to come back after the divorce, after devastating one's family I agree, is the ultimate cruelty. But I'm not surprised, I'm positive you were a wonderful wife and mother. He experienced that all too familiar feeling of "where did the excitement go??"

This happened in my first divorce from my first WH,(he tried hard to get me back) and if it happens again I won't be surprised, though I'm definitely not holding my breath. Nor waiting for it.


Abbondad posted 10/30/2013 14:38 PM

It's just another example of cruelty and selfishness. And, another example of his truly broken insides. Normal, healthy people don't demolish their wives and children like that, only to try to go back and pour salt in the wound once the "love" with OW fades.

^^^^

I'm sorry, ideservebetter. What pain you must be in. How dare he. I used to dream that my STBXWW would do this--come pleading back; now it would be a nightmare. Such tragic stories here...

ideservebetter45 posted 10/30/2013 19:38 PM

Thank you guys so much for the support..my heart hurts so much. I wanted this so badly a year ago.I wanted him to fight for us..he told me once when i was crying "to suck it up".He caused me so much pain.. dating her right in front of my face..she was our neighbor. HUMILIATED me all over town.why is this even bothering me? Why don't i just tell him to suck it up?? Please give me strength guys!

ideservebetter45 posted 10/30/2013 19:38 PM

Thank you guys so much for the support..my heart hurts so much. I wanted this so badly a year ago.I wanted him to fight for us..he told me once when i was crying "to suck it up".He caused me so much pain.. dating her right in front of my face..she was our neighbor. HUMILIATED me all over town.why is this even bothering me? Why don't i just tell him to suck it up?? Please give me strength guys!

anewday78 posted 10/30/2013 19:54 PM

First, (((hugs))). Second:

Why don't i just tell him to suck it up?? Please give me strength guys!
Try saying this to him once, without expressing any emotion, and you may just find that is incredibly cathartic and freeing to finally be the one doling out the rejection rather than being on the receiving end. Perhaps your heart will hurt a little less when you harden it when dealing with only him.

momentintime posted 10/31/2013 01:24 AM

Sure he does, until the next skirt that catches his eye comes along. Don't fall for the crocodile tears, he is just feeling sorry for himself. It is all about him still. Even if you opened the door a little, once he thinks he has you he would be out looking again.

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