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Newest Member: Else (61873)

User Topic: When I Finally Snap...
♀ 36474
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it will likely be over something meaningless and trivial.

Sometimes I feel like I don't care-that I've been hurt too much. I'm very detached.

But if I'm so detached, why does it piss me off so bad when he makes the little digging remarks designed to make me doubt myself, my abilities, etc?

Am I not as detached as I need to be? Or am I mad at him for being "stuck on stupid"?

I have a hard time with that kind of stupidity. He's had a near death experience that he hasn't learned a damned thing from. He just goes on like he always has, playing his stupid goddamned games. After all these years, the whole family is now onto him(except for a sibling who lives very far away and has no clue)

I get the impression that he thinks he's clever enough to fool us-that he thinks we're too stupid to see his bullshit games for what they are.

I think he feels lousy about himself, but won't admit it. I don't know why, nor do I even care after all the shit he's put me through. Dude, get some therapy already and leave us alone. Quit trying to drag us down there with you already.

I'm tired of paying in blood sweat and tears for YOUR shortcomings.

Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.

Posts: 449 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think that happens to many of us.

We carry things for so long and are so tired that the slightest thing can make us lose it.

What have you been doing for you? It's easy to seem detached, when all we are really doing is sticking our heads in the sand, KWIM?

Make sure you are getting IC, working on you and making yourself stronger, healthier. While your work happens the detaching from him slowly starts to happen on it's own.

It is one of the most difficult paths, IMO, having a SO that won't fix or own their shit.

Having a near death experience would wake most people up, I am so sorry he hasn't looked at himself.

Focus on you, you deserve to feel good again.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 4012 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
♀ 36883
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I not as detached as I need to be? Or am I mad at him for being "stuck on stupid"?

My first guess is both.

My second would be that you need to stop giving him the power to piss you off. You are still allowing him to rent space in your heart and head and maybe that is pissing you off a little.

Give him the emotional moving papers and know that his opinion of you means nothing.

Me: 32 MH
Him: 39 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.

Posts: 2393 | Registered: Sep 2012
♀ 40229
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some part of you still cares. When you truly don't care about their issues is when "stuck on stupid" won't be able to affect you. I agree with the others, do you. Get away as much as possible...outside activities, kids, etc. Now is the perfect time, it's the best time of the year. Don't you just love Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas! You can go to a friend's for coffee. Treat yourself to Starbucks in a book store somewhere.
If it is cold enough, go ice skating where you live. If not, go therapy shopping. I have NO money, but I pretend very well when I walk around the malls!
Him, meh, he's not worth even a second's thought. He is doing it on purpose because he wants desperately to get you engaged again. They are sick. Don't let him get your crazy going too!
Best of luck.

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 4396 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Topic Posts: 4

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