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When I Finally Snap...

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loveisareddress posted 10/30/2013 09:49 AM

it will likely be over something meaningless and trivial.

Sometimes I feel like I don't care-that I've been hurt too much. I'm very detached.

But if I'm so detached, why does it piss me off so bad when he makes the little digging remarks designed to make me doubt myself, my abilities, etc?

Am I not as detached as I need to be? Or am I mad at him for being "stuck on stupid"?

I have a hard time with that kind of stupidity. He's had a near death experience that he hasn't learned a damned thing from. He just goes on like he always has, playing his stupid goddamned games. After all these years, the whole family is now onto him(except for a sibling who lives very far away and has no clue)

I get the impression that he thinks he's clever enough to fool us-that he thinks we're too stupid to see his bullshit games for what they are.

I think he feels lousy about himself, but won't admit it. I don't know why, nor do I even care after all the shit he's put me through. Dude, get some therapy already and leave us alone. Quit trying to drag us down there with you already.

I'm tired of paying in blood sweat and tears for YOUR shortcomings.

karmahappens posted 10/30/2013 10:08 AM

I think that happens to many of us.

We carry things for so long and are so tired that the slightest thing can make us lose it.

What have you been doing for you? It's easy to seem detached, when all we are really doing is sticking our heads in the sand, KWIM?

Make sure you are getting IC, working on you and making yourself stronger, healthier. While your work happens the detaching from him slowly starts to happen on it's own.

It is one of the most difficult paths, IMO, having a SO that won't fix or own their shit.

Having a near death experience would wake most people up, I am so sorry he hasn't looked at himself.

Focus on you, you deserve to feel good again.


Undefinabl3 posted 10/30/2013 10:10 AM

Am I not as detached as I need to be? Or am I mad at him for being "stuck on stupid"?

My first guess is both.

My second would be that you need to stop giving him the power to piss you off. You are still allowing him to rent space in your heart and head and maybe that is pissing you off a little.

Give him the emotional moving papers and know that his opinion of you means nothing.

StillLivin posted 10/30/2013 12:51 PM

Some part of you still cares. When you truly don't care about their issues is when "stuck on stupid" won't be able to affect you. I agree with the others, do you. Get away as much as possible...outside activities, kids, etc. Now is the perfect time, it's the best time of the year. Don't you just love Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas! You can go to a friend's for coffee. Treat yourself to Starbucks in a book store somewhere.
If it is cold enough, go ice skating where you live. If not, go therapy shopping. I have NO money, but I pretend very well when I walk around the malls!
Him, meh, he's not worth even a second's thought. He is doing it on purpose because he wants desperately to get you engaged again. They are sick. Don't let him get your crazy going too!
Best of luck.

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