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In panic revealed a source

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roarlouder posted 10/30/2013 10:12 AM

I messed up. I have been tracking WH truck, and saw he drove by OW house. Instead of waiting a day to see if he told me, I asked him right away. He told me yes and why he did, but cover is blown on my source (he suspects any way) which makes me think its kind of useless now. Should I admit the tracking, or just take it off and cool it for awhile?

UpInTheAirNow posted 10/30/2013 10:15 AM

Leave it be. If he's concerned tell him it's a condition for R.

UpInTheAirNow posted 10/30/2013 10:17 AM

Oh one more thing. If he does it again there needs to be consequences.

karmahappens posted 10/30/2013 10:17 AM

play dumb and don't reveal anything....maybe he will think it was coincidence??

If something is going on and you are in-tune you will see it.

Lies have a way of bubbling to the surface.

roarlouder posted 10/30/2013 10:27 AM

He knows... He said its no coincidence I asked those questions. I didn't say no, and i didn't deny it. He's fine with it, and said it works in his favour because it proves he is where he is supposed to be. Problem is, if he knows about it and wants to do something he shouldn't he knows how to not get caught-remove it, take a cab, park somewhere else, etc.

If he drives by again we have a problem. I see this instance as part of the fog lifting, realizing it was fantasy and she was deceitful -just like he was...(car not home, likely with another man is his summary which is helping to realize how fake it was I think).

I feel like I am living in a really bad dream.

Dreamboat posted 10/30/2013 10:36 AM

So...put a GPS on his phone. But leave the tracker on his car.

heartache101 posted 10/30/2013 10:42 AM

roarlouder
He should not be doing drive bys period...
I am sorry..
I hope he gets his head out of his backside quick.

roarlouder posted 10/30/2013 10:57 AM

I've been looking into something for his phone, but technology challenges make it not possible (I do have access)...
I know he shouldn't be driving by...it is a significant concern that he did... That he needed to see she wasn't home, which means she's moved on.
That doesn't count as NC in my mind.

niaveone posted 10/30/2013 11:01 AM

If he has an iPhone, you can turn on Find My iPhone and he would never see you trying to find him.

roarlouder posted 10/30/2013 11:05 AM

Do I need his apple ID for that? I can ask and he'll give it ( I have passwords for everything else) but I want to do it without raising suspicion.

stuckforever posted 10/30/2013 11:47 AM

Beware, if he has updated his iPhone to ios7, there is a setting he can choose to make a small icon show up at the top when his phone is being tracked.

I secretly turned it off on my WH's iPhone after he updated to ios7.

Settings>Privacy>Location Services>System Services> and go to the bottom and make sure the "Status Bar Icon" is turned off!

And to use Find My iPhone you will need his Apple ID and Password.

You could also use iCloud.com on a computer and enter his Apple ID and password that way to access Find My iPhone.

[This message edited by stuckforever at 11:53 AM, October 30th (Wednesday)]

thebighurt posted 10/30/2013 11:59 AM

I feel like I am living in a really bad dream.

Honey, we all wonder how our lives became like this sad movie plot. (((roar))) Stay on here - you'll get good advice from people who have been through it all.
tbh

Holly-Isis posted 10/30/2013 12:01 PM

I always found it helpful to insinuate I had as PI giving me info. Never could outright say as I'm crap at lying. :/ MrH should have wondered where the funds would come from since I'm a SAHM but he never did.

If he says it works in his favor, then he should have no problem with having you activate Find my iPhone. Then lock down location services under restrictions with a pass code only you know. If he truly doesn't care then he should have no problem with that. Meanwhile, keep the GPS for added peace of mind.

When it comes down to it though, if they're going to cheat, they'll cheat. But verification and the WS's attitude towards it (rather than calling it snooping or an invasion of privacy) can go a long way towards building trust.

roarlouder posted 10/30/2013 13:35 PM

That's what is so scary. Where there's a will, there's a way. I know that. I don't want to play detective forever, I am already growing tired if it. But I also don't think I'll ever really trust him again.

Kierst13 posted 10/30/2013 13:38 PM

That's what is so scary. Where there's a will, there's a way. I know that. I don't want to play detective forever, I am already growing tired if it. But I also don't think I'll ever really trust him again.

It is so very true. I never found a way of tracking my WS that he was not able to find a way around it; that includes the key logger.

I have more zen in my life now that I kicked him out and I do not have to worry about his *activities*.

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