Many books and folks on SI have said that a WS should be allowed to mourn loss of their AP, and that they need time to grieve. That always rubbed me the wrong way. Mourning and grieving seems to connote that something valuable or important has been lost. And, for instance; when a person close to you dies, your mourning may subside, but it never completely goes away. So this leads me to infer that when a WS mourns, they may mourn over this indefinitely, and may never get over it. This is not comforting to a BS that wants to feel safe again.
I saw one person on SI describe those feelings as detoxing from their AP. That description makes me, as a BS, feel better and may actually be more accurate. We don't say a Heroin addict is mourning the loss of Heroin (although they probably could), we say they are detoxing.
Since most WSs say, "it could have been anyone," it seems the loss isn't really about the other person. So, the detox metaphor seems more apt and less hurtful to the BS and still allows the WS permission to feel what they need to feel. Anyone else have thoughts on this?