WH and OW had a long distance EA that lasted about 6 months. She was an old girlfriend from before we met --> cue music: An Ode to FB Reconnection.
I have not found any evidence to suggest they ever met in person, but things were pretty hot, heavy, and full of mushy love professions via their phone/online interactions.
I do know she tried very hard to get my husband to come to her, sneak away so she could come here or meet at a different location. She offered numerous times to pay for his travel expenses so I wouldn't find the money trail, but he refused and it made her very angry. Towards the end, she threatened to stalk our family while at a conference/vacation over the summer. The conference was work-related for me, but involved our entire family.
At this time we have a harassment injunction on file because her stalking threats/on-line taunting escalated significantly after the affair was revealed. As far as I am aware, NC has been maintained on his behalf since Dday.
In early December, a shorter follow-up conference is taking place in her area. I was planning to go alone, but WH and I decided he ought to join me. Aside from the fact that we'll be in her locale, it's actually a great opportunity for the 2 of us to get away alone...something we've only been able to do one other time in 13 years of marriage.
The chances of running into her at dinner, pulling up to a red light beside her, or encountering her on the street are pretty slim -- but still significantly more possible than usual.
I feel a sense of obligation to alert her BH that we'll be in the area. I don't want to give him our specific location or travel details, but do want to say something to the effect of:
"This is a courtesy message to let you know that WH and I will be attending a conference in your area during the 1st week of December. WH will not be leaving my side the entire time. Please make sure you know your wife's whereabouts as well."
Or do I just say nothing? If they were coming to our city, I'd appreciate the head's up.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts...