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Are the inconsistencies worth the pain?

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Opheliapain posted 10/30/2013 16:10 PM

After 2 1/2 years after DD I finally got a timeline from my FWS. His affairs went from meeting women in bars, to answering personal ads, to sleeping with them.

I knew that he met the women he slept with on Craigslist and he led me to believe that is where he met the women he went out of dates with also. I remember asking why the dates didn't want sex but every woman afterwards did. He said it must have been willing to cross the boundary at the time. That never made sense to me. Casual Encounters is having sex. period.

In the timeline it shows he had a OKC account and that is how he met the women he went out of dates with. Now the information did not change but he did keep from me that he had an OKC profile. He never gave me a lot of details until I got the timeline.

Is this a new DD or am I being over sensitive? I have no idea what anything is anymore and I am floundering.

ladies_first posted 10/30/2013 17:04 PM

Are the inconsistencies worth the pain?

If a timeline is truthful, it will likely contain new details.

If the truth is painful, take a metaphorical step back and take a literal deep breath.

Is this a new DD or am I being over sensitive?
Some count new revelations of old betrayals as Ddays; others only count "new partners" as Ddays.

Since I'm a lot further out than you, may I make a gentle suggestion?

Thank him for the timeline; thank him for his honesty (i.e. reward good behavior). Also tell him that you need time to digest the facts, and that you'd like to discuss the new revelations when you can do so without great emotion.

Also tell him that you need XYZ -- hugs, foot massage, warm cocoa, dinner out, whatever -- if you think it will help ease your pain.

(((Opheliapain)))

Opheliapain posted 10/30/2013 19:05 PM

Thank you. I'm just sad and scared. I need booze. I'll let him know right now. :)

ladies_first posted 10/30/2013 20:10 PM

You're welcome! Have a glass of red for me...

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