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Just found out Again

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WaWaNJ posted 10/30/2013 22:16 PM

Mine is so tangled.

But I just found out again. I am moving out with my daughter. I am dizzy, can't eat, and can't get out fast enough.

He never lifted a finger since Dday one so not sure why I am so shocked. I sob every time I try to pack

Skan posted 10/30/2013 22:18 PM

(((hugs))) I'm so very sorry. Please, please, take care of yourself. You have a child to take care of. If you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of her.

We're here for you. Just keep on breathing. (((hugs)))

Crushed1 posted 10/30/2013 22:45 PM

So sorry to hear this (((WaWaNJ))). Take care of yourself and your dd.

WaWaNJ posted 10/30/2013 22:57 PM

Thanks. My reality is different. My stomach is sick. And I am mad bc he has a gf set up so he has happiness. I can't leave til the atty gets all the signatures and every minute feels like a century.

MakingLemonade posted 10/30/2013 23:14 PM

I am so sorry! It's good you are getting some space. (((hugs!)))

Jrazz posted 10/30/2013 23:21 PM

I'm so sorry. We're here for you.


Hearthache again posted 10/30/2013 23:43 PM

People assume that the second time will hurt less because you have been through it before. It doesn't. I hurt just as much the second time around with my H. The only advantage you have this time is you know it does get a little better each passing day.

Stay strong and take care of yourself and child.

Lalagirl posted 10/31/2013 08:00 AM


I'm so sorry, sweetie.

Please take care of yourself and post often. Let us help and support you.

I can only imagine your pain. But you're going to be okay. You do not need this mess in your life anymore and the pain will subside and you will find happiness again.

More hugs,


still2suspicious posted 10/31/2013 09:43 AM

I am so sorry for your pain (((WWNJ)))

You are showing your strength by moving forward.

Your happiness will come, one day at a time. His? Sweetie, just b/c he has a gf set up now does NOT mean he has happiness. How much happiness can there be when you have 2 cheaters involved??

Soon he will just be an after-thought and you will be amazing!!!

Sending strength.

tushnurse posted 10/31/2013 10:09 AM


You are moving forward, and making changes so that he can never hurt you again. Find peace in that.
Of course that does not mean you won't hurt, of course you will, but the pain is limited and there is an end in sight. No more worrying, you will get through this, you will be stronger than you ever imagined, and you will also find happiness in yourself.

If you can't eat or sleep please callyour Dr for some pharmaceutical help through this tough time. You need to focus on taking care of yourself and your kiddo.

(((and strength))))

Oldernotwiser posted 10/31/2013 10:13 AM

Brave move, take care of yourself! I have wished I would have had the courage to make that decision so many times. I actually feel I cheated myself of years of happiness by staying. Be strong, you are not alone!

AlexFL posted 11/1/2013 20:04 PM

I don't think I'm being strong. I think I am caving in. I realize that I forgive too easy or sweep things under the rug too much. I want to disappear for awhile or freeze the world.

My problem is I don't think he is a bad man but I probably should. There are things that he have done that crush my soul but then he also has some good qualities.

Who knows if I can continue bring strong. I feel sad and lost still. I thought a couple weeks would make things more clear but it's not.

I have no decision made. I have no proof that anything would change. I must change and that's really scary cause I kinda really liked me.

sad12008 posted 11/1/2013 20:26 PM


Sending you strength; hope you can feel it. I'm really sorry.

AlexFL posted 11/1/2013 22:54 PM

On the phone all night. Back and forth. It's weird that we are both on opposite sides of what happened but we feel the same. He cheated and I was cheated on and we both feel sad, lost and insecure but then he adds remorse and I add anger. Makes for a VERY difficult conversation cause we aren't matching emotions at the same time.

Dreamland posted 11/1/2013 23:38 PM

Sending hugs and love your way...
So sorry.. :)

WaWaNJ posted 11/2/2013 16:53 PM

This was pretty hard. I am having trouble finding a place to move. I can't get out fast enough. I start packing tonight.

I did call the dr for a nausea med.

I need to go read in the divorce and new beginning areas now - even though I think we should have still tried.

WaWaNJ posted 11/5/2013 23:29 PM

Now I think maybe I should try to save the marriage and feel like I am losing my mind...

WaWaNJ posted 11/6/2013 13:11 PM

Well, he doesn't know what he wants. He has three options. Her, me, single. I have to remove myself as a choice as much as it hurts. He asked for a day to think and I just can't put myself through that.

I think if he doesn't know that would mean he knows what he....

I don't know what I think but I don't feel wanted or love and I do feel like trash.

still2suspicious posted 11/6/2013 15:12 PM

remove myself as a choice

oh sweetie, I am sending BIG ((((Hugs)))

Yes, YOU can remove yourself, if YOU choose.
Don't let him make a decision for you, and DD, about YOUR life.

I agree the fact that he isn't sure is pretty indictive of where this is headed.

YOU do not need to be looking over your shoulder the rest of your life. Or teach DD that she needs to stay with someone who has such disrespect for her. (easy for me to say, IK, wish I could live by my own words)


Sending strength.

Truly posted 11/6/2013 15:20 PM

Oh For Fuck's Sake, what's wrong with these people? (Rhetorical- I know they're broken, but really? Into that many pieces? It's sad here today with more DD's )

I am heartbroken for you WaWaNJ but you are doing the right thing and you will gain strength from every second you stay on your new path.

Sending you and yours huge ((((((hugs)))))

...and apologies for profanity...ish

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