Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Phoenix2rise (45723)

User Topic: Just found out Again
WaWaNJ
♀ 28820
Member # 28820
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine is so tangled.

But I just found out again. I am moving out with my daughter. I am dizzy, can't eat, and can't get out fast enough.

He never lifted a finger since Dday one so not sure why I am so shocked. I sob every time I try to pack


Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs))) I'm so very sorry. Please, please, take care of yourself. You have a child to take care of. If you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of her.

We're here for you. Just keep on breathing. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5096 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Crushed1
♀ 6449
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry to hear this (((WaWaNJ))). Take care of yourself and your dd.


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9819 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
WaWaNJ
♀ 28820
Member # 28820
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks. My reality is different. My stomach is sick. And I am mad bc he has a gf set up so he has happiness. I can't leave til the atty gets all the signatures and every minute feels like a century.


Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010
MakingLemonade
♀ 41143
Member # 41143
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry! It's good you are getting some space. (((hugs!)))


Me: 40's; XBS Him: 40's; XWS/NPD/SA
D-day 1: 5/2007- A #1; 7/2007 A #1 continued-R
D-day 2: 3/2013 A #2/multi-ONSs; 4/2013 A #2 continues to present
D: 7/2013 (25 yrs together; days shy of 22nd anniversary-GOAL MET!)
Our kids: teen & tween

Posts: 168 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Southern US
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. We're here for you.

(((WaWaNJ)))


"Sometimes people are mean, and sometimes things will be hard. One of your jobs is to try and make sure that that never makes you mean and hard, too." Cord Jefferson's Mom

Posts: 18298 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Hearthache again
♀ 28564
Member # 28564
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, October 30th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

People assume that the second time will hurt less because you have been through it before. It doesn't. I hurt just as much the second time around with my H. The only advantage you have this time is you know it does get a little better each passing day.

Stay strong and take care of yourself and child.


Me-BS(32)
Him-WS(35)
Married-12 years together 13
Kids 4: 15, 12, 8, and 3
DDay#1 9-26-2008 Dday#2 4-26-2010
We have R!!! But I still hate the number 26!

This too shall pass
I edit a lot because that stupid box is so small!


Posts: 871 | Registered: May 2010 | From: Michigan
Lalagirl
♀ 14576
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((WaWaNJ))))))

I'm so sorry, sweetie.

Please take care of yourself and post often. Let us help and support you.

I can only imagine your pain. But you're going to be okay. You do not need this mess in your life anymore and the pain will subside and you will find happiness again.

More hugs,

Lala


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,2yo GD & 3 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5136 | Registered: May 2007
still2suspicious
♀ 31722
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry for your pain (((WWNJ)))

You are showing your strength by moving forward.

Your happiness will come, one day at a time. His? Sweetie, just b/c he has a gf set up now does NOT mean he has happiness. How much happiness can there be when you have 2 cheaters involved??

Soon he will just be an after-thought and you will be amazing!!!

Sending strength.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1328 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WaWa)))

You are moving forward, and making changes so that he can never hurt you again. Find peace in that.
Of course that does not mean you won't hurt, of course you will, but the pain is limited and there is an end in sight. No more worrying, you will get through this, you will be stronger than you ever imagined, and you will also find happiness in yourself.

If you can't eat or sleep please callyour Dr for some pharmaceutical help through this tough time. You need to focus on taking care of yourself and your kiddo.

(((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8789 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Oldernotwiser
♀ 36408
Member # 36408
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, October 31st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Brave move, take care of yourself! I have wished I would have had the courage to make that decision so many times. I actually feel I cheated myself of years of happiness by staying. Be strong, you are not alone!


Me BS 54
WH 55
Married 34 years
2 grown sons
2 PA ? EA's didn't develop due to discovery

Posts: 85 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest USA
AlexFL
♂ 40966
Member # 40966
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think I'm being strong. I think I am caving in. I realize that I forgive too easy or sweep things under the rug too much. I want to disappear for awhile or freeze the world.

My problem is I don't think he is a bad man but I probably should. There are things that he have done that crush my soul but then he also has some good qualities.

Who knows if I can continue bring strong. I feel sad and lost still. I thought a couple weeks would make things more clear but it's not.

I have no decision made. I have no proof that anything would change. I must change and that's really scary cause I kinda really liked me.


Posts: 146 | Registered: Oct 2013
sad12008
♀ 18179
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WaWaNJ)))

Sending you strength; hope you can feel it. I'm really sorry.


You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3900 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
AlexFL
♂ 40966
Member # 40966
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On the phone all night. Back and forth. It's weird that we are both on opposite sides of what happened but we feel the same. He cheated and I was cheated on and we both feel sad, lost and insecure but then he adds remorse and I add anger. Makes for a VERY difficult conversation cause we aren't matching emotions at the same time.

Posts: 146 | Registered: Oct 2013
Dreamland
♀ 40488
Member # 40488
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending hugs and love your way...
So sorry.. :)


Me-BS 50 Him-WH 47, DD17
Together since 1993, Married 19 yrs
DDay 3/12,4/12,7/12 EA-PA OW - 25 single husband chasing bastard whore

Posts: 515 | Registered: Aug 2013
WaWaNJ
♀ 28820
Member # 28820
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was pretty hard. I am having trouble finding a place to move. I can't get out fast enough. I start packing tonight.

I did call the dr for a nausea med.

I need to go read in the divorce and new beginning areas now - even though I think we should have still tried.


Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010
WaWaNJ
♀ 28820
Member # 28820
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now I think maybe I should try to save the marriage and feel like I am losing my mind...


Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010
WaWaNJ
♀ 28820
Member # 28820
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, he doesn't know what he wants. He has three options. Her, me, single. I have to remove myself as a choice as much as it hurts. He asked for a day to think and I just can't put myself through that.

I think if he doesn't know that would mean he knows what he....

I don't know what I think but I don't feel wanted or love and I do feel like trash.


Dd1: April 2010 Dd2: Oct 2013
Will never tell anyone to try to work it out with a cheater...

Posts: 152 | Registered: Jun 2010
still2suspicious
♀ 31722
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

remove myself as a choice

oh sweetie, I am sending BIG ((((Hugs)))

Yes, YOU can remove yourself, if YOU choose.
Don't let him make a decision for you, and DD, about YOUR life.

I agree the fact that he isn't sure is pretty indictive of where this is headed.

YOU do not need to be looking over your shoulder the rest of your life. Or teach DD that she needs to stay with someone who has such disrespect for her. (easy for me to say, IK, wish I could live by my own words)

YOU ARE STRONG. YOU CAN DO THIS.

Sending strength.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1328 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
Truly
♀ 40715
Member # 40715
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh For Fuck's Sake, what's wrong with these people? (Rhetorical- I know they're broken, but really? Into that many pieces? It's sad here today with more DD's )

I am heartbroken for you WaWaNJ but you are doing the right thing and you will gain strength from every second you stay on your new path.

Sending you and yours huge ((((((hugs)))))


...and apologies for profanity...ish


There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens


Posts: 257 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 30
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.