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for me to detach

There's the A, TT, manipulation, gas lighting, passive aggressiveness etc.

Then there's the false R

Then there's the breadcrumbs he keeps laying down to try and keep me interested enough for ego kibbles, the sad looks....the blame shifting, the bad mouthing.

There's the not being there for any of the antiversaries.

And then there's the trying to sneak small things out of the house while 'babysitting'. Admittedly he did tell me just before he left that he'd taken them, but there was no asking. But hey, he still absolutely denies that he's got an entitled attitude.

It get's easier each time he pulls stunts like this

And yet I'm still hoping that he'll get his head out of his arse...mind you, it's so far up there he can probably see daylight by now

It can be a slow and painful process letting go of that hope, even when they prove themselves consistently selfish. I think of hope as dying by half lives....

((Softcentre)) Love your tagline quote btw.

Thanks.

I've given myself a mental deadline of the end of Feb. No change by then (and I mean real actions, not words or short term gestures) and in March I go back to the solicitor and go for divorce.

He has no idea of my mental deadline. And behaviour like this just makes it easier to let go.

Mine's making it easy to detach too. She has shown no remorse, stayed away, only talks business. She has really shown her true colors. Petty and greedy over small stuff. When she does come by the house she helps herself to beer, soda and food. (never when I'm here). She accused my friends of harassing her. I decided to take the high road. I told all my friends to do and say nothing. And they have. I held her hand through the refinance process (which is imminent) and have kept up with her cat. She now thinks we are friends. Boy is she in for a surprise when she signs the paperwork and I'm out of the house. Being nice on the surface has also brought out enough guilt that she's letting me call the shots on everything, move at my own pace. It's hard to bite my tongue sometimes but it's a means to an end.

This was what happened to me. The more hurtful he's been since I filed, the more it's pushed me away. I have not heard of such cruelty anywhere else in the world, but it's helped what he used to call "the wedge", which was him screwing around and me still wanting to be M but not knowing what he was doing and on and on and on...

Exactly. False R was what pushed me, literally, right down the mountain I live on to the lawyer's office. It was the cruelty that I spoke of, for he even promised to renew our vows...and was out the door a week later...anther poofer.

Yeah...during false R: We discussed melting our wedding rings down together and reforging new ones, renewing our vows and he bought me some jewellery called 'eternal love'. When he gave it to me I asked him not to if he didn't mean it...2 months later he left. I guess eternity isn't that long for him