I haven't been reading or posting on SI for quite a few days now. Like others here I sometimes find it counter productive and quite a trigger BUT at other times it's a true God send and I really need to feel that others share and can empathise with my feelings.
So we are just a few days short of 10 months from Dday and the path has been so difficult. I have to emphasise just how hard my WH has worked since then - his own journey through IC has thrown up some awful FOO issues which he has really dealt with and he has been completely supportive, patient, sympathetic and everything else he should be while dealing with my break downs.
But now, I'm feeling 'weird' - not a good descriptive word so I am trying to explain that weird and hoping some others will know what I mean.
The word 'ambivalent' has come to mind and I'm not feeling comfortable. My emotions do tend to by cyclical depending on the time of the month and I can recognise when a bad time is coming. I try hard to resist that journey downwards but it often just takes me with it. So I've been on the downward slide again and got through it (in the form of lots of crying, asking the same questions over and over, talking into the wee hours of the morning etc) but now I'm not sure how I feel. I haven't been able to really respond physically to my WH this month, kind of feel a bit 'meh' - does that mean anything to anyone? We've experienced amazing HB in the early months and when we are intimate it is totally amazing but right now, for the last few days I just feel blank.
Can anyone relate?