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One night stand vs more

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lucy17 posted 10/31/2013 08:46 AM

WH and I were watching movie last night in which one partner had sex with another person. The cheater was very upset right after, feeling sad, guilty, immediately remorseful and broke off contact with that person. I was so stunned by my feelings-trigger back to knowing WH had sex 6 times, sent about 50 texts a day to build up an emotional relationship as well and no remorse--texts after a night of having sex were "Last night was so good."
"Yeah, so good. What are you doing this weekend. Can you get away?"
WH and I talked. Angry isn't the right word, but he gets frustrated with me for "forgetting" that he was completely "f-ed up" and though it's not an excuse it's not who he is. He never would have done that if he wasn't so f-ed up.
For me--I'm just trying to get to know this new guy I'm thinking I want to commit to. I thought I knew him when I married him, but the guy I knew would not have been capable of such depravity. Why didn't I know he was so f-ed up? Why didn't I sense it? How could I have ever trusted someone so completely?

1ost0ne posted 10/31/2013 09:06 AM

Saying "I was f-ed up" is a cop-out. We are all imperfect and that does not provide us an excuse to wrong someone else.

My WW's A lasted a year, yet she finds a ONS disgusting. Huh? This BS wishes it was a single ONS and it was only about the sex versus the attention and affection that continued for a period of time.

Your WH needs to be in counseling and discover why he felt it was necessary for him to explore outside the marriage.

Also, the person you thought you married does not exist. You need to learn who this person is and how they make choices and should be part of your decision process on whether to stick around.

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