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Ashland13 posted 10/31/2013 09:46 AM

Marks 1.5 years that I have been alone.

The day that the XPervert snuck out in the middle of the night and abandoned his own child was the anniversary of his own father's death.

It is not known if he was aware of this (because of how messed up he let himself get without getting help).

Kind of hit me in the gut to be aware of it...I know..."It's not about me".

ETA that the answers I seek now are different. Why do I mourn someone who could cause so much hurt and destruction?

Why did a brand new life come in the middle of it?

What line did I get in when they handed out the fate cards?

There is so much I will never know and so much I do know.

Maybe sometimes it's best not to?

What little ability to communicate that was left is vastly deteriorating, so that crickets are basically all that I can come up with.

I did retain a new lawyer and have been able to only mention it here, so that to him it will come as a surprise-this is a bit of a shark, which is needed, as he has an NPD lawyer who enjoys a public show of humiliation for the opposition.

Well, my crickets are going so well that I'm getting a message that says, "Is everything ok?"

So, because my moods are swinging, I'm going to be naughty and let it ride some more.

We were not around the last two days so that the phone call was missed and I didn't write back any way at all, so that silence is going over the wires-thick, dark silence that I should not be enjoying so much.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 10:23 AM, October 31st (Thursday)]

nowiknow23 posted 10/31/2013 09:49 AM

((((Ashland))))

Nature_Girl posted 10/31/2013 10:09 AM

I'm sorry, Honey.

jo2love posted 10/31/2013 12:55 PM

(((Ashland)))

SBB posted 10/31/2013 15:28 PM

Crickets for me have been the light that showed me the path through the ugly, dark places. At first NC was sheer willpower, not it is as easy as breathing.

((Ashland13))

pregnantandsad posted 10/31/2013 16:56 PM

((Ashland))

gypsybird87 posted 10/31/2013 17:55 PM

((Ashland))

Thinking good thoughts for you today.