H is very shut off and doesn't like to talk about any of it. He gets pissy and angry whenever u bring it up.
Unfortunately if you are stuck with an asshole, as you put it AND this is his reaction to talking about the A, I don't know that you will ever know.
For me, it was repetetive questions and answers, until I felt ok that I had gotten the same ones, over and over...until I was done.
Your H hasn't given you this, so I don't know how you could be done
I am sorry, that's lousy IMO.