SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

Pets help R, seriously

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

Pages: 1 · 2

FeelingSoMuch posted 10/31/2013 21:35 PM

Despite the risk of earning an award for lamest anything ever posted on SI, here it goes.

One of the things I'm discovering during our attempted R is that having pets is incredibly helpful.

When I'm feeling sad or angry and prefer to hold in my thoughts it's so nice to be able to say, "look at what the cat is doing!" And he's always doing something.

My cat is great when things are tense. He acts up for attention and then we kind of come together to give him that attention.

My WW goes to bed earlier than me to be up before the sun rises for her job. The cat is great company for me at night. Petting the little guy helps me break negative thought patterns.

He was kind of neglected after D-Day (we fed him regularly, but barely played with him for two months) and I still feel some guilt over that. I really don't know how you people with children get through something like this. He's a cat, he'll be fine. I imagine kids are impacted for life.

In short, if you have a pet, use him/her. When things are going well, we do "family hugs" that include the cat and that feels good and we both "have to behave" because the cat is included.

Seriously, pets are a great distraction during tough or tense moments. I'm only writing this because I'm having a painful night, started reading posts on SI and thinking horrible thoughts. The cat came along, walked all over the keyboard and demanded attention. It broke up my negative thinking and petting him made me feel good. So there, lamest post ever.

jo2love posted 10/31/2013 21:40 PM

Not lame at all. I love when my cat walks up, gives me a hug, and kisses my cheek.

sad12008 posted 10/31/2013 21:43 PM

Not lame at all!

They provide diversion without the demand that children bring with them (kids also provide diversion).

The best thing about pets for me, though, was comic relief. I didn't/couldn't smile, let alone laugh, for months and months (and months); the first real laugh I had post DDay was thanks to my dogs playing a silly game of chase so earnestly that it was funny. Who knows how long I might've gone without that moment of joy if we didn't have pets?

Pets are good.

FeelingSoMuch posted 10/31/2013 21:45 PM

Sad12008, reading about your dogs made me smile

SpaceJane posted 10/31/2013 22:06 PM

Best post ever on SI :)
I love my dog so much. I don't have kids either but my dog brings me so much peace, comfort, and love. It's crazy how a little animal can have such an impact on ones well being. Therapy animals are truly therapy animals.
I don't know what I would do without my puppy, he distracts me and also makes me smile with his silliness, I HAVE to walk him and that makes me exercise and breath fresh air, if I didn't have him I would never step outside for a walk and would consume myself in sadness. Not to mention that he sits next to me lovingly when I am sad and licks my tears when I cry :(
I loved him so much before but now he really is my all time best buddy, he has my unconditional love always. Pets are the best.

somanyyears posted 10/31/2013 22:25 PM


..absolutely!!!!

..our 3 cats are part of the reason we are still together!

..they constantly entertain us with their goofy personalities.

..love the little critters to pieces..

smy

rachelc posted 10/31/2013 22:40 PM

Not lame, brilliant!

Saleschick posted 10/31/2013 23:31 PM

MY dogs heart condition has really detiriated during this ordeal. However, I cook low sodium people food for him and have meds to give him so that has helped me have a "purpose" especially on days when I do not fee like getting out of bed.

catlover50 posted 11/1/2013 06:03 AM

It's actually proven that pets help us emotionally. Not lame at all! Their unconditionally love is sometimes all we can count on.

And I'm a doglover too; have three of each.

heartache101 posted 11/1/2013 07:19 AM

Its that unconditional love!
I believe in animal therapy.

ItsaClimb posted 11/1/2013 08:39 AM

Not a lame post at all. My little dog has carried me through the tough months since D-Day. She has been there for me no matter what my mood, she's cuddled me when I am crying, she's made me laugh when I am sad, she has listened to me rant and rave, she has walked next to me on the toughest of days... She has literally saved me.

amitheow posted 11/1/2013 10:02 AM

My dog was GREAT!
She hated him after he left and when he used to come over to pick something up or drop off money she would back as far away from him as she could without leaving me alone and would snark and bark.

LOVE my baby!

chasinglove posted 11/27/2013 09:54 AM

Not a lame post at all! Our dog is a silly dog and it always helps me when I spend time with her, they have such easy lives and it just makes you take a step back and realize it's not the end of the world.

tushnurse posted 11/27/2013 10:19 AM

Yes they do.
Not a lame post.

I tried not to fall apart infront of the kids in the early days, and I would often lock myself in my bedroom with my animals, and they dried their share of tears for sure. Alas I am so far out from Dday that none of those animals are still with me. But they all three provided me with comfort, and peace during those hard hard times, they also made me laugh, and realize that there was more to life than just his A.

Animals are wonderful.

Trying2Survive1 posted 11/27/2013 10:35 AM

Awwwww, pets are therapy, for sure!

lieshurt posted 11/27/2013 10:37 AM

Nothing better than doggy cuddles and kisses when I feel down.

looking forward posted 11/27/2013 10:58 AM

Nothing better than doggy cuddles and kisses when I feel down.

...Change that to cats and I'm with you!


olwen posted 11/27/2013 11:11 AM

Another vote for fab pets!

This may sound irresponsible but I will explain....

As soon as it was decided we would stay together we made a difficult decision, for our son's sake, that turned out to be fantastic for us all! We bought a puppy..... now before anyone says eek what if you don't make it??? Well we have a son and two cats so another addition wouldn't really make things any harder - plus we are both sure no matter how hard things get we will stay together.

The thing is we have been incredibly unlucky with our dogs and our son has really suffered. Imagine his little world, pup#1 was stupidity buying a male german shepherd when we had a young child, he had severe dominance issues and we gave him to an ex police dog handler in the end, much heartbreak. we had both had gs's growing up but they were very gentle and we didn't realise how dominant some males can be. IT was our own inexperience at fault, not the dog's so we found him the best home we could. Then we had a perfect golden retriever who was my son's best friend. Sadly, she died at a year old from complications after picking up a parasite from her mum and the emergency treatment she was given as a pup. Saved her life but destroyed her gut and eventually her many meds gave her epilepsy - long heart rending story. Now imagine a little 7 year old who saw his pup get sick and die. Well, of course he pleaded for another, we thought about it for a long time and gave in and got a cocker spaniel, this one developed cocker rage syndrome and had to be euthanized after biting me twice very badly. at this point we were ready to give up, convinced we were jinxed. It didn't matter that I was at home, that we read all the books, bought from responsible breeders, did it all. we were just so unlucky when it came to dogs.

We said never again buuuuut this year DS was deeply affected by the loss of my dad, it brought it all back about the dogs he had lost too. We were dealing with the A and as an only child he was so sad. So we decided to try again....

We are now the proud parents of a beautiful black lab who is now a happy healthy addition to our family. She has been the easiest dog ever and dotes on ds. Within weeks he had her trained to do all sorts for him and she focuses on him so intently. She calms down when he walks in the room, does tricks for him she won't for anyone else and just clearly adores him, she is so gentle with him. They make such a happy pair

We found no matter how much we were arguing or how upset we were just watching her little puppy antics provided a great distraction and some real moments of light relief. There was also the underlying recommitment we were making to each other by adding her to our family. I swear this pup has brought us back together as a family. She certainly helped h and I (and continues to do so) and my little boy is happier than he has been in years!

So with our two cats that rule the roost and a smashing little girl at long last I say long may it continue! Yay for pets

Rebreather posted 11/27/2013 11:41 AM

I have an affair cat. I adopted her about 6 months after dday. She was 5 months old and a rescue. They found her living under a dumpster in an apartment complex. They called her "growly girl" because she would only sit on the back of a chair and growl at all the other cats in the rescue.

But this cat is my soul mate. We have healed each other. She never grew any bigger so I don't really know if she was only 5 months old or her growth was stunted or what. Today she is a 6 pound bundle of love. She comes and lays on my chest every morning before work, purring into my ear. Literally, she puts her nose IN my ear.

Dancetilldawn posted 11/27/2013 16:29 PM

My dog saved me! After Dday, when my kids left for school in the morning, I would go back to bed to meltdown. She laid with me for hours. She made me get up and walk her. She made me smile and laugh, especially when she gets the zoomies and runs around like a nut case. My WH said, "If we treated each other like we treat the dog our life would be great!" Some times I believe him.

Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy