SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

MissMoneypenny posted 11/1/2013 04:58 AM

Since DDay almost 4 years ago I have the problem that whatever I do, whether at work or in a conversation, watching TV, reading or being with my kids or being with SO or with friends,
I am zooming out with my thoughts and attention.

I just stare at no specific point and then the whole drama is right before my eyes again.

Sometimes it takes minutes before I am "back"...
Does anybody know this or am I going bananas ?

macakipa posted 11/1/2013 08:12 AM

You are NOT going bananas. DDay for me was 2 years ago, divorced earlier this year, and I too have those "zooming out" moments.

How can we not have them?! Our lives were thrown into a blender filled with lies, disrespect and shattered dreams. What is good, is that you are recognizing when this happens. Now you can work on throwing in new images to try and break the cycle.

I used to throw in images of my XH getting found out for who he truly is at work and with his family and getting swallowed up in a big karma hole. Now I throw in images of ME...my next getaway, events involving my children...you get the idea.

Hang in there

eta: typos

[This message edited by macakipa at 8:27 AM, November 1st (Friday)]

nowiknow23 posted 11/1/2013 08:25 AM

((((MissMoneypenny)))) You are not going bananas, honey. It does sound like you could have PTSD, however. It isn't uncommon - many BS here have gone through it as well. Are you working with an IC? It's worth exploring.

nutmegkitty posted 11/1/2013 09:24 AM

Yeah, it's part of PTSD. It happens to me a lot.

jo2love posted 11/1/2013 09:41 AM

(((MissMoneypenny)))

It is normal. You are going through a traumatic time. At one point I was forgetting periods of time, where I was, street names, what I was doing, how do to things, etc...

Nature_Girl posted 11/1/2013 10:27 AM

I also went through this. It's part of PTSD. I hope you're in IC, and I hope you will consider EMDR.

MissMoneypenny posted 11/2/2013 10:39 AM

Thank you all so much for sharing and letting me know that I am not the only one ! I can handle it now and these periods get less frequent the more time passes.
And I am that for almost one year now the nightmares have stopped.

Ashland13 posted 11/2/2013 11:59 AM

Just wanted to chime in and agree with the ideas that the zoom outs or dazes could be linked to stress. I have them too and will go one step further to say that I've found myself in places I didn't plan to be since dday.

Stress has a major, major impact on our brains, but we can combat it once we grasp what we're dealing with.

I'm really glad that you're noticing and questioning it. That seems like a good way to move to the other side.

In particular when I am very tired or after an interaction with Perv, it can happen.

Blessings to you.