Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Remember (46025)

User Topic: Everyone think WH is such a good guy
blue8888
♀ 40896
Member # 40896
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hate it. All everyone else including OW gets to see is this charming, charismatic, good guy. He actually told me last night that by cheating on me repeatedly, he did me a favor. He said it's because our marriage doesn't work. Yeah, it doesn't work when you won't stop cheating. He also called me bitter for being mad that he did all this. I know, back to 180 while I have to live with him. I was doing so well, shouldn't have said something to him, he is way too delusional and stuck in his fog.


Me- BW 31, WH- 29
M 11 yrs Together 13
2 kids (special needs)
Last Dday 9/26/13 EA w/ 19 yr old OW, too many prior EAs to list, one he kissed
Divorcing
My value hasn't decreased based on his inability to see my worth.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United States
OldCow18
♀ 39670
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry he's being a complete ass.

I totally relate to the good guy thing, they just LOVE him at work, and he's head coach for my daughter's team and the parents think he is the greatest effing thing since sliced bread. It makes me INSANE. They think he's superman and probably think poor guy has to deal with such a debbie downer wife, if they only freaking knew.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
callmecrazy
♀ 38765
Member # 38765
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow...you are married to God and didnt even know it Hugs blue. NPD's are awful to deal with bc there is really just no use if its bad.

Posts: 279 | Registered: Mar 2013
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yea, I've dealt with this too. Stbx has even told me that all his friends/family see him as a great, fun-loving guy and can't understand why I'm so *hard* on him.

Your WH isn't foggy. He is 100% delusional. And dealing with this type of crap is NO fun. Telling you that he has done you a *favor* -- what a jackwagon. *smh*

As a heads-up to you -- if/when you begin the D process you'll no longer be accused of being 'bitter.' You'll be accused of being bitter AND greedy......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
heforgotme
♀ 38391
Member # 38391
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

everyone else including OW gets to see is this charming, charismatic, good guy

This drives me insane. WH was always good on "vacation". When there was nothing to worry about......no stress. It kills me that this was the only side it ever got to see of him. Sure it was great, but it also wasn't real.......


D-Day 11/15/12
5 month PA
Married 20 years, 3 kids
All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.
- Scott Alexander
It was the day I thought I'd never get through - Daughtry

Posts: 1091 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: FL
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally relate to the good guy thing, they just LOVE him at work, and he's head coach for my daughter's team and the parents think he is the greatest effing thing since sliced bread. It makes me INSANE. They think he's superman and probably think poor guy has to deal with such a debbie downer wife, if they only freaking knew.

Oldcow...you just described my ws to
a T.
He's the funny, patient, charismatic, great father, who's married to that lady who always looks pissed. Usually because he's verbally attacked me before we roll out of the fucking car!!!! I can't even count how many mothers have told me, YOUR SO LUCKY TO HAVE A HUSBAND LIKE THAT AND HE'S SUCH A WONDERFUL DAD. my kids and I just roll our eyes...


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5276 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Chippednotbroken
♀ 40170
Member # 40170
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was just feeling like this last night when his mother (she supposedly knows as he told her) what a great dad he was and wasn't it so great that he got excited about trick or treating. Yes that's great would be even better if he hadnt stuck his dick in other "treats". That might be really great.


Me 33 (former BS)
Divorced November 17, 2014.
Who's that? The stronger me.
3 young kids

Posts: 354 | Registered: Aug 2013
emotionalgirl
♀ 40184
Member # 40184
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think many of our WH are like this....mine can literally be a whole different person when someone visits the house or we are out and the minute we are alone at home its like a mask falls into place. I swear Jekyll and Hyde. It has always bugged the hell out of me that nobody gets to see the person that I actually live with every single day!


1st D day: Saturday July 20,2013
2nd D day....when the s**t really hit the fan and the truth came out.Saturday August 3,2013
3rd D day: Friday August 16, 2013...NC sent Friday Aug 30 4th D day NOV 11
Me: BS
Him: WH
Married 25 years....finally in R

Posts: 373 | Registered: Aug 2013
OldCow18
♀ 39670
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's the funny, patient, charismatic, great father, who's married to that lady who always looks pissed. Usually because he's verbally attacked me before we roll out of the fucking car!!!! I can't even count how many mothers have told me, YOUR SO LUCKY TO HAVE A HUSBAND LIKE THAT AND HE'S SUCH A WONDERFUL DAD.

EXACTLY!!! Meanwhile, the ONLY reason he is SO DEDICATED to her team is so that he has an EXCUSE to never be home and focus on something other than the disasterous mess he made here at home. Asshat.

[This message edited by OldCow18 at 11:42 AM, November 1st (Friday)]


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
blue8888
♀ 40896
Member # 40896
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's driving me mad. I got to listen to one of his guy friends yesterday saying he is such an awesome guy.
Also his mom is SO proud of him for being such a great man and father. Ha, he rarely wants to do a thing with the kids. He is all about his computer and his "whores." I know OW will eventually see some of this but it kills me how many other people think he is so wonderful.


Me- BW 31, WH- 29
M 11 yrs Together 13
2 kids (special needs)
Last Dday 9/26/13 EA w/ 19 yr old OW, too many prior EAs to list, one he kissed
Divorcing
My value hasn't decreased based on his inability to see my worth.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United States
blue8888
♀ 40896
Member # 40896
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh and the reason I said anything at all was because I have been asking him to set an appt that is important for me and one of our sons. He has to make this particular appt or believe me, I would do it myself. He keeps telling me he has not had time to do it. I see on our cell phone bill that he has plenty of time to message OW all day at work though.


Me- BW 31, WH- 29
M 11 yrs Together 13
2 kids (special needs)
Last Dday 9/26/13 EA w/ 19 yr old OW, too many prior EAs to list, one he kissed
Divorcing
My value hasn't decreased based on his inability to see my worth.

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: United States
chinup
♀ 40319
Member # 40319
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, November 1st (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine is so great too! He is all about the appearance in public so people see a great guy, great father , great husband but in private we often get ignored or contempt . I was surprises yesterday when his best friend got a glimpse if the not so nice guy yesterday.

WH had made costume for son and son was complaining it was uncomfortable . WH didn't care, told him he had to wear it or he couldn't trick or treat. Nice dad eh! He said all this at his best friend's house . He finally realized what he was doing and helped fix the costume but was still a jerk about it though trying to be more patient because friend was there. Unusual for him to be that way in front of his friends. I think he knew OW might be in neighborhood trick or treating and was distracted. Otherwise, he is Mr. Fun cool nice guy best friend to everyone but his own children are afraid of him. Ugh!

Then of course I look like the bitchy grumpy wife while he's all mr happy pants. He should have dressed up as a dick for Halloween!

[This message edited by chinup at 4:43 PM, November 1st (Friday)]


Posts: 24 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 12

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.