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Do you ever just feel hollow?

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ShockedErica11 posted 11/1/2013 15:38 PM

Is there ever a time when you feel hollow after hearing what your WH has to say?

Like, I feel hollow in my arms and chest and legs, but in the pit of my stomach I feel pain, like anxiety and anger.

I don't know; it's what I asked for though, right?

This just...sucks.

And then when I hear information, I just feel like saying, "You know what? I'm done with this stupid, f@cked up relationship. I can't do it anymore." But it's just incredibly hurt.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

neverdidithink posted 11/1/2013 15:58 PM

All the time recently, but my hollow is head-to-toe. My heart and my head just feel empty.

It's as if I'm watching a movie from a distance. I'm completely detatched and unemotional.

WH talked for hours last night about stuff that was really painful for him and I'm glad a response was not required from me becuase I just had nothing to offer.

[This message edited by neverdidithink at 4:02 PM, November 1st (Friday)]

selkiescot posted 11/1/2013 16:00 PM

yes I feel exactly like that. Thank you for putting it into words.

Bikingguy posted 11/1/2013 16:06 PM

Just twice a day - day time and night time! Hard to feel moved by WW new found expression of feelings after giving it away for 15 of our 17 year M.

The pit of the stomach pain was described as thousands of butterflies dieing!

Razor posted 11/1/2013 16:08 PM

Every single day.

Every minute of every single day.

ShockedErica11 posted 11/1/2013 16:12 PM

The butterfly reference is very accurate.

And I already have crazy anxiety attacks out of the blue in my day-to-day life so this entire whatever this is has amplified that.

justjim posted 11/1/2013 16:27 PM

"Hollow" is a very accurate description.

It sucks when she's here. It's uncomfortable.

It sucks when she is gone for the weekend, like now. The mind movies run non-stop.

"Hollow" indeed.

Notdaniel posted 11/11/2013 17:17 PM

What can one do about that feeling? Just be left alone?

marionwendy posted 11/11/2013 18:01 PM

feeling that right now! Never knowing if Im coming or going. I know I will never be the same person again, I may get better with time but I will never be the same. Some days I feel so empty and hollow Id just like to curl up in a ball somewhere. Knowledge is power! I will never allow this to happen to me again.

megs56 posted 11/11/2013 18:05 PM

I definitely feel like that right now too. I am sorry that you and everyone else are feeling like that as well. :( It's a horrible way to feel.

(((ShockedErica11))) and hugs to everyone else as well.

Ostrich80 posted 11/11/2013 18:55 PM

I do especially when its quiet, when I have down time that I used to treasure, now I dread it. I try to keep my mind busy but at night, I can't shut my brain off. I fall asleep from pure exhaustion now, no longer lying there relaxing and drifting off to sleep. I hate night time.

stunnedin12 posted 11/11/2013 19:21 PM

Hollow and alone -

Whether wh is here or not - we can be in the same room and I feel alone. Very, very alone.

Hollow pretty much all the time when I think of wh. I am ok interacting with my children.

dayatatime posted 11/11/2013 20:43 PM

Yeah, I felt like that yesterday. WH was in tears about something and all I felt was hollow. I had to fake having empathy and I am normally a very empathetic person.

deena posted 11/11/2013 20:55 PM


Hollow and alone -
Whether wh is here or not - we can be in the same room and I feel alone. Very, very alone.

Hollow pretty much all the time when I think of wh. I am ok interacting with my children.


This is me too!!!!!

Spelljean posted 11/12/2013 19:06 PM

Yes, hollow and empty during the day most days.

Then anxiety at night, when I'm trying to sleep.

BrokenwingBird posted 11/12/2013 22:59 PM

Yes. Hollow. and empty. I feel it in my heart. Like it is caved in and deflated. I get depression episodes too where I feel this way the most. From what I understand this is a natural response. Especially in the beginning. I just hope it goes away with more time. I am only one month out from DDAY, but I see major improvement from the chaotic crazy emotions I went through in the beginning.

blackbirdfly posted 11/13/2013 00:08 AM

Yes. Hollow is such a good description.

Though, there are times, when it's really bad, that I feel like I'm floating. Not in a good way. Like I've become untethered. I can't tell what's real and what's not and my hollow self is just floating away from reality.

Physically and mentally, I can feel this way. And it's horrible.

betrayed5years posted 11/13/2013 00:43 AM

Empty and detached is how I have lived the last year since Dday. I have no recall of a year ago this time....my mind had to put itself in protection as I was in so much pain emotionally.

It is sad to miss a year of my life after missing 5 years of my marriage when my WH left me emotionally in his affair. Never would I have thought a body could exist without existing in the state of reality as I feel I have for the last year....and my best friends know nothing. A few know that things are different about me...I have withdrawn from previous activities, loss weight, avoid going out with the girls and never share anything.....but they would never guess how I really feel, no one except those in this club can.

Not sure if absence of feelings is scarier than all the hurt and betrayal reaped upon my soul???

needrespect posted 11/13/2013 01:49 AM

Count me in!!!
Hollow for a year now.
Can a person die from a broken heart?

Hope2B posted 11/13/2013 01:51 AM

Is there ever a time when you feel hollow after hearing what your WH has to say?

Oh yeah, I feel hollow when I'm not feeling angry, pissed, hurt or enraged, or when I'm not feeling anxiety, pain, indifference, sobbing, etc. Hollow is in the mix.

I actually kinda like hollow when it hits because it makes me have flat affect for what he might be telling me, or even if we're having a conversation (that means he talks, and I reply with a word, grunt, or short phrase). I show no emotion because for me, hollow (for now at least) does not include pain, anxiety and anger.

I look at him as if he was a clod of dirt that was tracked into the house. I know the look is dehumanizing, but I don't really care. I know that "look" is disconcerting to him, and a part of me revels in it. It's like I can look at him and he is nothing. This may change, of course, as I realize I am in the process of becoming something more than I was.

[This message edited by Hope2B at 1:52 AM, November 13th (Wednesday)]

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