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TryingVeryHard (original poster member #33927) posted at 9:42 PM on Friday, November 1st, 2013
My WS said he'd gone off me in the time leading up to his 16 month affair.
Do you think it's possible that he can really get over this feeling. We're going into our 4th year in R but I often wonder when he is going to go off me again.
I often think he isn't really attracted to me, that he has to put effort into it.
Anyone else feel the same?
Married 20 years.
1st D-day my birthday 2010
2nd D-day our 20th wedding anniversary
3rd D-day Nov 2010
Holly-Isis ( member #13447) posted at 10:29 PM on Friday, November 1st, 2013
(((TVH)))
I don't have wisdom, just hugs.
Have you guys gone to MC at all? What has he done to show that you mean more to him that waxing and waning attraction? How can he make you feel safe?
"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 12:05 AM on Saturday, November 2nd, 2013
My bet is that he went off himself.
If he changes from WH to 'great partner', you're relationship can prosper. What's he done to change - NC, IC, MC, honesty, transparency?
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
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