My STBX and I are in the same (small) field. There is an annual meeting that neither of us have ever missed. It's one of those things that you never miss, if you can help it.
I have to go. I'm involved in several presentations. I'm looking for a new job since I quit the one I had with him (after I found out he was having his A with a coworker).
I haven't talked to him in over 6 months. But, the last time I did, he actually brought up that he was still thinking of going (even though he's not involved in anything specific this year).
My L and IC have recommended sending him some kind of letter asking him to please not attend if not necessary for his professional development.
I haven't done so because I feel like that is a tacit form of breaking NC. And, frankly, I'm going to have to face him at this thing sooner or later. If we both stay in this field, I'm probably going to see him there every year for the rest of my life.
I honestly have no idea how I would handle seeing him. I know that, wherever I am at the time, I'm going to try to leave (unless I'm presenting). And I've basically told everyone who was in our circle what he did. I think I can expect to be supported and I'm sure if anyone can steer me clear of him, they will. Some have flat out told me that they will let him know that he is not welcomed there.
But say I catch a glimpse of him. Or he corners me somehow. Or tries to pretend like everything is amicable (he's telling people we realized we had "compatibility issues" and that there are no hard feelings ). Or say I run into him and he ignores me.
I'm anxious because I really have no idea how I'd react.
If history serves, I'll go into my "autopilot" and be civil, but controlled and not engage. I am the girl who NCed within 48 hours before I even knew what it was, after all.
But now that I've had some distance and come out of my fog, I'm incredibly disgusted. I could see myself yelling at him or lashing out in some way if I'm triggered. That's not great if I'm in public and on the job market.
Any words of advice? Stories from your own run-ins with your X?
[This message edited by PhantomLimb at 11:24 PM, November 1st (Friday)]