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one day at a time

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mof2 posted 11/2/2013 07:11 AM

And another day has began. It is almost 9 months since Dday and I look forward to the time when I am not counting anymore and living has gotten back to normal. Apparently I'm on stage 5 of the process (depression). I thought when the divorce was final I would be much better and I was for a little bit. My ex and the ow coming out as a couple has put me in a bad place. Still trying to figure out if I'm humiliated or gratified that people are realizing he and she had an affair. After days of crying and calling my parents just to hear their voices, I went to the doctor and finally got on anti-depressants. He asked me "so why do you think you need anti-depressants?" I went through the whole thing. June 2012 found out I was pregnant, was laid off from my job the same month, suffered a miscarriage in July, my husband left me for another woman Feb 12, 2012 (a week before I was due to give birth to the baby I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary), and a few months later my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. He just looked at me and said "and you are just NOW getting on them" Like many of you, I sometimes find this journey too much to handle. I actually daydream about the day when this is completely behind me and I feel alive again. I am taking this journey one day at a time, but often wish the days would just go faster. I'm doing everything in my power to focus on my kiddos as I don't want to miss out on their lives. Halloween night I had 6 high school kids sitting in my foyer all night laughing and handing out candy. I looked over at my daughter who was smiling and laughing and I thanked God. And now I thank God for Prozac. One day at a time

Thefly559 posted 11/2/2013 07:20 AM

I am sorry . I know your pain well. You sound like a very strong and independent person that is good . I do not believe in drugs but I do understand . Stay focused on yourself and the kids , I am at the same place as you , I fall in and out of anger , depression , relief, I also take one day at a time , the world will wait! I wish you all the best and I am sorry for all of us!

sunsetslost posted 11/2/2013 10:58 AM

The healing is in those little things. (Laughter, not Prozac, though I hear it helps). Sending you strength

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