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"I miss you" out of the blue?!

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fraeuken posted 11/2/2013 10:57 AM

Last night, after a fun Highschool football afternoon, I was minding my own business, cooking ahead for the weekend and having a nice glass of wine and feeling genuinely happy - when all of a sudden my phone lights up with a new text message from XSO: "Hello, how are you! I don't know if it matters but I miss you very much."

???? Six weeks of no contact, him having moved back in with her and then this? I assume he was either drunk or had a fight with her, anyhow, crickets over here.

However, all that healed has been ripped open again. When I saw the text the tears came flooding. I feel I can start all over again now. I know it probably is not true but it feels this is harder to move on from than my marriage.

[This message edited by fraeuken at 10:58 AM, November 2nd (Saturday)]

InnerLight posted 11/2/2013 13:15 PM


That's so selfish of him after his behavior. All about him and his feelings of being without you! I think it's time to block his number.

Then keep doing the great things you are doing to take care of yourself.

nowiknow23 posted 11/2/2013 13:21 PM

What an ass. ((((fraeuken))))

Williesmom posted 11/2/2013 13:59 PM


FaithFool posted 11/2/2013 14:10 PM

I would probably have texted "fuck off".

jo2love posted 11/2/2013 14:26 PM


I'm sorry.

better4me posted 11/2/2013 14:29 PM

((fraeuken)) it is hard enough to move on without having the bandaid ripped off before the wound has healed...Glad you didn't respond...continue to heal today...

phmh posted 11/2/2013 17:36 PM


Glad you were able to stay crickets.

I've heard the first SO after D can be harder to move on from than the marriage.

I know breaking this off with a guy after two months was much harder than I anticipated, and it set me back a bit when he sent me an e-mail that he sent to all his female friends with a discount code to an online store his sister works at. So you're not alone.

It does get easier, and with NC I was better off much earlier than after the initial break-up.


Blackhair posted 11/2/2013 20:44 PM

I do not have much advice other than telling you we all felt the same. The feeling we had for WS will be always there, that is why we always have " dreams", WS probably was thinking about you, but it is our choice not to be in this "triangle" relationship.
Hang in there, it will get better over time!


Blackhair posted 11/2/2013 22:31 PM

Double post

[This message edited by Blackhair at 10:32 PM, November 2nd, 2013 (Saturday)]

fraeuken posted 11/2/2013 23:01 PM

This is so cruel. Now he had me waiting for a follow up, some other sign of life.

And I finally have enough. Number is blocked. I will never know if he tried or not. It is better this way but it certainly takes all my strength.

Jrazz posted 11/2/2013 23:43 PM


Good for you for blocking him. YOU win. YOU have the power.

He? Is some piece of selfish scum for texting you. Fuck missing you. FTG.

persevere posted 11/3/2013 14:29 PM

What a selfish idiot. Blocking was the right call. Ugh...FTG.

Bebba1171 posted 11/3/2013 15:04 PM

Good move Frau to Block him. That is very selfish of him.

I miss my SO as well. We remain close and hugged and kissed last week when I went by her house to drop off some of her things.

Just liked PHMH said, it is hard to get over your first relationship.

At least you know he is a jerk and can move on. It must be tough tough with how cruel he continues to be


[This message edited by Bebba1171 at 3:06 PM, November 3rd (Sunday)]

fraeuken posted 11/6/2013 19:55 PM

Gosh, I hate him. Now he is on my mind again every minute of the day. I have cried every day. He still lives with ex-girlfriend. So why make me hurt like this? I am at the point again where I think I will never find love again. Same as when it ended with XH. Totally not rational, but hard to believe right now. It will not matter in five years.. but today it is killing me. Thanks for letting me vent.

nowiknow23 posted 11/6/2013 20:14 PM

((((((frauken)))))) Sending you strength and comfort, honey.

homewrecked2011 posted 11/7/2013 08:10 AM

He wants to feel like "every woman wants him".

Good for you for blocking him, all contact brings new hurts and you weren't even looking for a contact.

Plus, a really sick person would want to cause someone MORE trauma.

Move on and thank God he isn't with YOU, texting another woman, because this shows he is STILL THE SAME AS ALWAYS.

CheaterMagnet posted 11/7/2013 18:00 PM


Let me tell you what happened with Pigfucker. HE divorced me. After 20 years and 2 beautiful children. He re-married while the ink on the decree was still wet. However, when I had to see him at a school event for one of our kids, he wanted to hug me. While he was hugging me (I stood stiffly with my arms to my sides) he whispered in my ear, "It was all my fault. I miss you. I love you." I wanted to boil my body in bleach.

DD14 (at the time) told me often that he would get drunk and cry about how he'd lost the best thing that ever happened to him. How he'd blown his only chance of happiness. This was in front of his WIFE! Apparently, whenever he was mad at her he would tell her that she was nothing compared to me and that I was the perfect wife and mother and that she could never measure up. I actually felt and still feel sorry for her.

I responded to none of this and have maintained strict NC with him since that hug. 8 years have gone by. He cheated on and then mind fucked and divorced the wife. He is now with the new OW.

Even though what he said about me was totally true! It meant absolutely NOTHING. He is still the same lying, cheating, NPD, selfish, abusive Pigfucker that he's always been.

Good for you for blocking his number. Stay strong. (((HUGS)))

fraeuken posted 11/7/2013 23:27 PM

CheaterMagnet, how are you doing? PM coming!!!

fraeuken posted 11/8/2013 00:06 AM

Reclaimed the Bible Study group tonight we used to go to together, knowing he switched nights to go with ex, ahem, now again girlfriend. It was good. Afterwards I realized based on some pictures from one of the Harvest Crusades at church he had also lied to me about when he had broken up with her. He had made it seem much longer than it actually had been. This is almost comical - seems I was his rebound and here I was thinking he was mine :-)

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