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Newest Member: farmgrl (61811)

User Topic: Not holding up their end
♀ 14918
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 3:16 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It amazes me that I ever believed he would do the things he said he would. Always has an excuse as to why he didn't read, or didn't do a poly or doesn't post on SI.
I guess the hours and hours of cheating don't require him to do one thing to fix/change/work on. Amazing that he thinks stopping cheating is the answer. That it proves he's changed.
Yeah, fixing things obviously is not part of his plan. Not that he ever had one. Obviously.

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1610 | Registered: Jun 2007
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What amazes me is that I continually chose to believe he would do what he said he'd do, despite me being betrayed by him time & time again. I chose to go along with his lies, idiot that I was.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 25341
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 4:24 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, we just keep setting the bar lower and lower and lower so that if they do the tiniest thing it's supposed to get a big fucking 'you are the greatest' blah blah fuckity blah.

I'm sorry he's such a dickwad.


Me (BS), Him (WH): mid-50's
3 DS: 23, 23, 19
M: 28 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 33
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen

Posts: 6321 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
♀ 36976
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, November 2nd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was my mantra during the last 12 years of marriage, "Lower my expectations until I could be happy."

It turns out I couldn't lower them enough. WH was willing to go to the scum sucking bottom.

My new mantra is , "Make the bull pull the cart." I think men respond to being needed.

I couldn't have made that transition without threatening and planning divorce though.

Posts: 870 | Registered: Sep 2012
♀ 33045
Member # 33045
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, November 3rd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

they just never get the damage they have caused by their selfishness so they continue to do so not even seeing it.
maybe it's time to do a bit of a 180 on him.
Be nice but don't put the focus on him anymore put it on yourself, if he sees you not just accepting his behaviour then maybe he will realize he will have to pull his weight or he will lose you…..
try it for a month see if there is any difference in him…….

Posts: 99 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 5

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