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A Year And Counting

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grassisgreener posted 11/2/2013 20:38 PM

I'm a year into R now, and am still feeling lost. I was feeling like the queen of R : six months in and I has forgiven him. Things were better than ever. But now, after the anniversary of our true DDay, I'm feeling angry. Like Hulked-out angry. WH has been great. He does everything asked of him, but I could really just EXPLODE any second. Is this normal? Does the anger ever go away??

painfulpast posted 11/2/2013 21:09 PM

It is normal, and yes, it goes away. In the beginning, there is anger, confusion, pain, everything. When that calms we think the anger is gone, but it's just waiting. It comes back, as strong as it's ever been, and it's almost scary the rage that boils inside of us. It's for everything - the lies, the betrayal, what was taken from you, what was given to you, who you thought your spouse was, who they were during the A, who they are now. It's part of the rollercoaster.

I thought I had forgiven at about 6 months too. By 9 months, I was really wishing I had taken some form of brazilian marshall arts, or done some target practice, or paid more attention during CSI I was pissed, and it seemed never ending.

You'll get through it, but not overnight. Each stage takes time. Just vent here, or to your IC, or a friend, or whomever you can grab.

jo2love posted 11/3/2013 14:28 PM


It is very normal to trigger and hit a low on antiversaries. Please be kind to yourself.

grassisgreener posted 11/3/2013 15:23 PM

Thank you both. Most of the time, I feel like we're rocking this whole R. But when its bad, its still bad. Thank you for the hugs and support. This site is full of superheroes!

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