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Marriage isn't for you.

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damncutekitty posted 11/3/2013 15:52 PM

http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/

I thought this article was so profound. THIS is how to answer every person who said they cheated because their spouse wasn't making them "happy".

deena posted 11/3/2013 15:59 PM

I love that guys dad's thinking.
What a great father and husband he must be!
Thank you "damncutekitty" for sharing this

heforgotme posted 11/3/2013 16:03 PM

Very cool.

And very true.

Area2 posted 11/3/2013 16:06 PM

Great sentiment, thanks for sharing.

Merlin posted 11/3/2013 17:28 PM

If both spouses don't believe it, the beauty and truth of the words don't come to much.

cuppacoffee posted 11/3/2013 17:29 PM

love it!


As the husband is slowly starting to realize (after 13 years of marriage!)

brokendancer7 posted 11/3/2013 18:07 PM

Interesting article. That is what I always believed and tried to do.

...the more you truly love that person, the more love you receive.

Unfortunately, not always.

Kierst13 posted 11/3/2013 19:30 PM

I hate to be there when reality hits this young man right between the eyes. It will be incredibly painful.

The entire article assumes both people feel that way about marriage, but when you have a self centered person enter into a marriage with a person focused on their spouse's happiness, nurturing and success life takes a horrible turn.

It seems very happily-ever-after and Camelot wishes to me. I would like to see what he writes after 2-3 toddlers under foot, a mortgage and two full time working parents running on little to no sleep.

Kierst13 posted 11/3/2013 19:30 PM

If both spouses don't believe it, the beauty and truth of the words don't come to much.

BINGO!

IrishLass518 posted 11/3/2013 19:31 PM

Love this article and love the dad

Amazonia posted 11/3/2013 21:55 PM

If both spouses don't believe it, the beauty and truth of the words don't come to much.

This.

Best friends for ten years before you started dating, marrying your best friend? That was me and my XH. Giving more than you get? That was me. Lying, cheating and using me? That was him.

[This message edited by Amazonia at 10:25 PM, November 3rd (Sunday)]

Lostinthismess posted 11/3/2013 21:59 PM

Such a true message. I just wish infidelity wasn't mixed in our story now. Why couldn't he have seen the truth before?????

1Bite2Shy posted 11/4/2013 16:36 PM

I don't get this. I feel like it's enabling a codependent look on marriage - that if you're not happy, keep trying to make your spouse happy and that will make you happy.

Also, why must we equate happiness and love? I love my husband, but I am most certainly not happy with him all the time. But, my being happy with him or not does not alter my entire life. We move forward, and we move backward, but the goal is that we're there together. Neither one of us trying to out-happy the other.

TrulySad posted 11/5/2013 14:25 PM

I love the article.

Of course we all know the hard way that not everyone will be giving enough to love another in this way. It doesn't make it any less true, or helpful.

Thanks for sharing

StillLivin posted 11/5/2013 15:11 PM

Now if only my POS STBXH had learned that our marriage wasn't about him. I was the selfless one, I was the one that poured understanding and love back into him when he was a real shit to me for no damn reason (or so I thought during the A).
I should have realized a lot sooner that once shame on you twice shame on me and left his sorry ass. Thank you Shrekf...er for cheating so you could finally free me.
Next time around, I will be the same loving, selfless person, but I'll make sure my SO is too!

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