He was my childhood sweetheart, we started dating when I was 16, he was 18. He was the first guy I ever slept with and I thought he would be the last. We have been together 14 years now, married for 6 and our daughter is almost 4.
He has been working overseas fly in, fly out for the last couple of years and while going 1 month at a time apart is hard we thought it was worth the short term sacrifice for a better future. It was paying off we just bought a much bigger and better house. I had everything moved while he was away so he wouldn't have to worry about it on his short time at home.
And then it all shattered in a minute. He had been to the Drs (about a sore foot I thought) and he CALLED me "The Dr said I have Chlamydia"..... My head and heart were pounding. He slept with somebody else on a business trip to Indonesia. It is such a cliché.
I thought if this ever happened to me I would be upset, furious, uncontrollable but instead I am calm, quiet, collected. I guess this is shock, or denial?
I know that I would survive without him but I don't know if I want to, I did really love him but how can he be the same man I married?
I suddenly don't know who I am anymore because my whole life was built around him. All I can think about is the things in my life that I can change. I have hated my job for a while now, maybe I should find a new one. My car is so expensive to run, maybe I should buy something cheaper and more economical? Maybe it is time I started putting me first and find time to go the gym?
There are so many thoughts in my head and yet none of them seem to be dealing with the situation. I feel numb but I want to feel something - anger, sadness, anything.