SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

One of the roughest I've had in many weeks. I know part of it was due to PMS, but I also realized that its not buried far beneath the surface. There was some build up to the meltdown, starting with seeing another article on see thru Lululemon pants, when I discovered WH's secret email account in June one of the emails he'd sent made reference to see thru Lulu's, obviously an inside joke he shared with the OW. The breaking point was coming across a pen for a hotel I've/we've never stayed at. I believe him when he says he didn't stay there with her, but I hate hate hate that it's the first place my mind goes, I hate that I have that doubt in him and our M. In the end it just really breaks my heart.

I asked him to read a post in the Wayward section about what every WS should know. He did and in the end asked what he was supposed to get from it, that he needs to say sorry a million times. I feel so at my wits end. I'm sick of explaining that where we are is entirely his fault, his pour choices. I asked if he figured out why he could justify doing what he did, he said yes, but could give me nothing of any value, so in other words, no, he's not done a thing except rugsweep and pretend like everything is fine. But I'm not fine.

Wow.

I could have written this myself. Not the see through/pen stuff...

The rugsweeping and not being fine stuff.

I'm not fine dammit.

I've had a rough weekend of fighting blaming one another and crying. And I've had to work 7p to 7a all weekend too. I have good and bad days and this weekend has been the worse for some reason. I know how you feel in a way.

(((happier, kick & lilly)))