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XH is getting married to OW

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miadianna posted 11/4/2013 10:49 AM

I knew this day was coming. He texted my daughter last night and told her he was getting married and he wants my son to play guitar at his wedding and my daughter to sing!

She said "Mom, I cannot do this. I cannot go to this or be any part of it." I said "Well, tell him." and she did. Then the crazy started. He doesn't understand why and thinks everyone should be happy for him. She ended up having to block his number and OW's number. She never gave OW her phone number and is mad about that too. This is abuse. Her own father. Makes me sick.

[This message edited by miadianna at 10:59 AM, November 4th (Monday)]

ajsmom posted 11/4/2013 10:55 AM

Still delusional after all these years I see.

What a tool.


nowiknow23 posted 11/4/2013 10:59 AM

Sending you all a huge hug. ((((miadianna & kids))))

HurtsButImOK posted 11/4/2013 12:08 PM

Hugs to you, DS and DD.

They never seem to see their horribleness for what it is. Totally selfish behaviour (whining voice with accompanying violins) "but it makes me happy, why aren't you happy for me"

DeadMumWalking posted 11/4/2013 12:10 PM

((((miadianna & kids))))

What a self-centered asshole. No consideration AT ALL for his own children.

Yeah, they really want to make music to celebrate the bitch that broke up their family.


((((miadianna & kids))))

osxgirl posted 11/4/2013 14:50 PM

Hmmm.... I think if I were her, I would change tactics and tell Dad that she is excited to help out with their "special" day, and that she is working on a wonderful rendition of "Your Cheatin' Heart" to celebrate their love.

miadianna posted 11/4/2013 15:11 PM

When she texted back she had no interest in being a part of it, he wrote back "Well maybe you could do a reading? A poem or something? I will leave a spot open for you." She replied it wasn't necessary, she will not be coming and he wrote back "WHAT GIVES!!!?" Then went on a text ramble about how he doesn't know what she has against OW because she had "little or nothing" to do with our divorce and it was all him because he said "it was time." (Except I have the messages and pics of her being a huge part, sorry fool) I'll never forget when he threw himself a birthday party, she didn't go and he called her and yelled "You are supposed to make me feel special, I want to feel special, it's my birthday!!!" Yeah almost 55 years old.

This is from a man who never once visited his kids since he left in 2005 and never once came to see her at college (4 years!) and she went to school in our city, she wasn't far away. What a parent failure.

She wrote "Believe me, since you left we are all better off. I know a lot of things that you and many people don't know I know." Then she blocked some phone numbers on her phone. Done.

Part of the confusion for him is he has no idea I knew he was cheating and have folders full of instant messages, photos, and emails. I've never told him I knew, I have no contact with him. They've been lying and spinning the story around to people that they met a year after we separated. I just let him look like the fool he is. His whole family believes it too.

sparkysable posted 11/4/2013 15:15 PM

he wants my son to play guitar at his wedding and my daughter to sing!
He is delusional! And then he's shocked when his kids aren't excited about this blessed event!?

It would be one thing if the two of you decided that things weren't working out between you in a mutual agreement, and then later on met someone and was getting married.

Sorry, but when you marry the OW, you don't get to enjoy the same well wishes. But they expect it. I don't get it.

Skan posted 11/4/2013 15:25 PM

Well, in the unlikely chance that your children change their minds, I would suggest that they choose one of the songs from this playlist:

tesla posted 11/4/2013 17:13 PM

Oy. What a douchebag.
You have raised a wonderful daughter that knows how to set her boundaries.

SBB posted 11/4/2013 17:27 PM

It doesn't sound like they have any sort of relationship with OW. Do they have a relationship with him?

He is reaping what he sowed.

ButterflyGirl posted 11/4/2013 18:09 PM

This is from a man who never once visited his kids since he left in 2005 and never once came to see her at college (4 years!) and she went to school in our city, she wasn't far away.

Wow. Parent failure for sure. It makes it even more sad and hurtful that he's probably only asking her to do this for appearances, to impress OW or his family and friends, and/or to justify his actions and not feel so bad about everything.

If his children are supportive and come to sing or read a poem or whatever, what he did must not have been all that bad

What a dick.. Lots of hugs to you and your kids..

miadianna posted 11/4/2013 18:11 PM

They have no relationship with OW, they were almost 16 and 18 when he left. But he wants them to be the Brady Bunch. My son was about to graduate high school, he moved out a week before my son's 18th birthday. He bought a house about 100 miles away in her town but expected them to be the ones to visit, but only when he wants. Which is when he has some sort of party. They have never spent any time with him alone since he left. They have visited a few times, always with OW there. Her kids lived with them, he said mine would have to get a hotel if they wanted to stay over. Which they never did.

A few years ago he sat them down and told them he made a living will and OW will come before them. They are in 3rd place, after his brother and OW. Just wanted them to know. At the time, he only knew her a few years. He makes a lot of money.

They don't care about that at all. My kids are not materialistic. They lived with me full-time. I raised them, took care of them, were there for them for every single thing all of these years. He was never around. Now they are grown and are very close to me and he can't stand it.

Phoenix1 posted 11/4/2013 18:33 PM

Self-entitled much??? What a fucktwit. I'm sorry your daughter even has to deal with it, but good for her for standing her ground!

I believe I am in the same position you started with. XPOS left in March and hasn't seen the kids since. He has no contact with kids except superficially with DS20 (DS20 is simply being civil and polite to get a few things out of him then is cutting him off). My DDs don't want anything to do with him. He sent me a text a few months ago that was asking something about DD22 (nothing important). I responded that he needed to talk to her about it as she was an adult. He responded, "I tried, but no one talks to me." HHHmmm, I wonder why, douche bag???? I expect him to marry his whore any time now, but anticipate his relationship will be the same as in your case with the kids in a few years - nonexistent.

These pricks just don't get it. Boggles the mind!

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 6:34 PM, November 4th (Monday)]

Ashland13 posted 11/4/2013 18:38 PM

I'm really sorry.

We have this coming, if not already and kept secret from me.

He is also taking OW around to family members without asking them and showing up at their doors to introduce her.

And he brings our daughter there before we are even divorced.

On the phone he begs our daughter, "do you forgive me? Do you? Do you?" over and over, she said.

He was mad because I said he should not know those people.

He told my mother he wanted to marry her before we even knew he was a cheater.


I am sorry for your pain and that of your children. No one should have to have it.

careerlady posted 11/4/2013 20:37 PM

I'm so sorry I don't understand how people can be so selfish and self-centered

tryingagain74 posted 11/4/2013 21:31 PM

Sorry that you're joining the charming club of those with XWS who are stupid enough to marry their APs. Yep, they don't see anything wrong with it and are under the mistaken impression that everyone will bless and welcome their union. It's sad how delusional they are, and they will never learn.

I'm sorry for your kids. At least they are old enough to be able to avoid the crazy. My kids are forced to deal with it during their forced visitation.

FaithFool posted 11/5/2013 08:13 AM

I love your daughter.

Children aren't props to be trotted out to accessorize the unicorn rainbow life.

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during that conversation.

What a fuckwit.

dmari posted 11/5/2013 09:21 AM

Hugs to you and your DS and DD! I'm admiring your daughter and her boundaries.

Your ex is an asshole.

miadianna posted 4/28/2014 14:26 PM

I'm just venting, have nobody else to talk to about this but I'm so mad at him. Daughter has cut off contact and XH won't give up.

He's at it again. Their wedding is next month and he is desperate for my daughter to be there. She has had no further conversation about this wedding since the last time he asked her and she told him she was not interested. The only time she has seen him in the past year was on Christmas Eve. It was a short dinner at a relative's home. She overheard someone asking him about the wedding at Christmas and thinks she heard it was May. He never told her when it was.

This past weekend he bomb texted her asking her again if she changed her mind and would please come to his wedding. She once again said "I'm not interested. It's not something I support so I have no reason to be there. But it would be nice if you, me, and my brother could meet and have dinner down here sometime." (XH moved 100 miles away and has never come to see her although he is in our area very often.)

He completely ignored her offer to have dinner with him and her brother and started asking her why she doesn't want to come to his wedding. He said it's going to look bad. He wrote "Your aunt XXXX would love to see you." (manipulative..her aunt could come and see her anytime and never has.) When she again said she wasn't going to be there, he wrote "But OW really likes you! It would mean a lot to me for you to be there." She doesn't care if OW likes her or not.

Her last text was telling him she is too old to be going back and forth like this and she has no interest in attending his wedding, she doesn't support it, and she would like if he respected her decision and not contact her again about this wedding.

I really can't believe he has no idea why she doesn't want to be a part of this. Can someone be that blind and narcissistic?

[This message edited by miadianna at 3:20 AM, May 3rd (Saturday)]

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