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thecaves (original poster member #38062) posted at 7:03 PM on Monday, November 4th, 2013
Made a rookie move last night. Browsing through amazon prime movies and came across a 1984 film with DeNiro and Streep. We like them both and it had a romantic title called "Falling in Love" Well.. i'm sure you can just imagine what the primary plot was. I need to remember to screen the plot of all romantic movies :(
So, what are some good romantic movies that feature marriage?
[This message edited by thecaves at 1:04 PM, November 4th (Monday)]
Me: WH
Her: BW
Kids: Yes
Married: 20+
D-Day: 12/2012
What defines us is how well we rise after falling.
Undefinabl3 ( member #36883) posted at 8:56 PM on Monday, November 4th, 2013
Shadowlands with Anthony Hopkins
Oldy, but goodie
[This message edited by Undefinabl3 at 2:57 PM, November 4th (Monday)]
Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's
jost1125 ( member #38710) posted at 12:50 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
I don't know about your BW, but for me, romantic movies are out all together. Even if the romance is within a marriage, any time I see any physical contact, I'm seeing WBF and OW. I don't know when I'll ever want to watch another romantic movie again.
Me (BGF) 35yr
Him (WBF) 32yr
Children: 14yr (mine)
Dday #1 (admitted to EA) Sept. 29, 2012
Dday #2 (admitted is was PA) Oct. 1, 2012
plainpain ( member #40139) posted at 1:00 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
I watched the prince kiss Snow White and I almost hurled. I only see WH and OW. Any time there is a hint of romance, I have to leave the room.
Me: Believer, 40s
Him: Liar, 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R. It only hurts now when it rains.
Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 1:39 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
"Romance" was off limits for a looong time for us. We stuck to feel good cartoons. Which still bit us in the butt a few times. Two "innocent" cartoon characters smack in EA land.
We're still very careful what we watch. If QS mentions a movie, I research the crap out of it before we watch it. Mostly, we stick with cartoons and documentaries.
Might change one day. But for now, we're both too sensitive to...extra-curricular activity on-screen.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 1:47 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
"Murphy's Romance"
"What Dreams Make Come"
k9
BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
JustDesserts ( member #39665) posted at 1:52 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
The Notebook (undying love), Twilight (I know, tween girl candy. But love at first sight and commitment.), The Quiet Man, The Prince & Me, I Know Where I'm Going, Julie & Julia (Streep & Tucci), The Illusionist.
Triggers aside, these mostly "safe" from infidelity.
Pride & Predjudice. Emma, too.
2 year EA/PA. DDay 3/12. Broke NC 6/13 w/one stupid 5 line e-mail (which brought me to SI). Me: WH, 51. Her: BW, 50. Married 20 years. Two kids. Dog. Reconciling...together.
knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 1:57 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
No romantic movies for us either. Basically stuff blowing up, martial arts fighting, car chase scenes, and shoot outs.
Oh and on TV food network and dog whisperer.
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 2:00 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
The Notebook
Is not infidelity free. Watched it once upon a time. Was all "swoony" over it. Awwww, Twue wuv. Started to watch it after Dday. Saw that sucker in a whole new light. Granted, she wasn't "married" to new dude, but she was in a committed relationship. She was his fiance.
On the Jane Austen front, don't watch Mansfield Park. Infidelity. Course she does get what she "deserves". Abandoned in a small cottage with an equally hateful and bitter aunt and shunned by society.
[This message edited by Aubrie at 8:00 PM, November 4th (Monday)]
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
thecaves (original poster member #38062) posted at 4:22 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
I agree with you completely Aubrie.
Thanks to others... especially those who said romantic movies are completely off limits now... it will be a topic i bring up tonight... maybe that's the best thing for us too right now.
Me: WH
Her: BW
Kids: Yes
Married: 20+
D-Day: 12/2012
What defines us is how well we rise after falling.
heme ( member #40684) posted at 4:29 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
I use to enjoy good romantic movies since I love it when things have a happy ending. Now all I can think about is how long would it really last before one betrayed the other. So, no romantic movies here either..
We watch a lot of cooking shows and kids shows when we do watch TV, which is rarely.
BS: Me (30)
WS: Husband (31)
Married 8 years, together 9
D-Day: Sept 10, 2013
D-Day2: May 31, 2014
Children: 5, ages 7, 5, 3, 1 and due in September
Leaning towards leaving, no one deserves this pain.
heartache101 ( member #26465) posted at 4:46 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
My husband FWS loves loves twilight.
I hate it but I watch it because he loves it! I love comedy! I dont ever want to see another love romantic movie. Not yet. I am 20+ years out.
There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing
harrypotter ( member #39526) posted at 9:49 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
I don't have any good movie suggestions I actually considered never watching tv or movies again I never realized all of the possible triggers. We have watched movies and shows together and sometimes it seems okay and sometimes it's not. Oddly something's that bother me or I think would bother her she said didn't and sometimes things i didn't think would upset her do. So for me it's hard to say and sometimes makes it not worth the risk to me. I actually find myself trying to think of other things to do together at night after the kids go to bed. Maybe read together, talk. That said for us the family movies for the kids watching them with the kids I.e family movie night seem to be the safest. Real Steal is a good one, pacific rim might be good as well. Sorry but in my experience you never know so it's always a risk where we are at right now.
WS-Me
BS-Her (Lostinthismess)
Unagie ( member #37091) posted at 11:11 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
Romantic movies are hell for me, not so much for him. The notebook...omg I hate it, twisted and jam packed full of infidelity even if they are "soulmates." Twilight has infidelity too, she was in love with Jacob, she just loved Edward "more." That very sentence is triggery. Look only she will know what will trigger her, aske her if she wants romance, comedy, cartoons. I watched Family Guy and American Dad last night, both packed with infidelity. I was sitting there like WTF!? All I wanted was some laughs, I was dead silent the whole time. Media glorifies it, it is everywhere, take precautions.
[This message edited by Unagie at 5:11 AM, November 5th (Tuesday)]
painfulpast ( member #41038) posted at 11:47 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
The Notebook - ugh. Nothing but a cheater that is marrying another because she isn't with who she loves. Disgusting.
Of course, I'm jaded. My fWH's A was with an ex, and she posted all over her FB page how the notebook was the most romantic movie ever made. I think she saw her and my H in it.
The entire movie is based on her infidelity. It isn't romantic if you even once think of her fiance.
EDIT - sorry. I forgot to add that I'm also in the 'no romance movies' boat. Even if there is no infidelity, the couple in the movie may do something that triggers you BS or you. They could say something that you and OP said to each other, or do something, or perhaps something you and your spouse did before the A, that now seems 'ruined' due to the A. It's just too risky.
Then again, I was also set off once by something in IronMan 2, so you really never know.
[This message edited by painfulpast at 5:50 AM, November 5th (Tuesday)]
DDay - 12/2010
Fully R'd - I love my husband
JustDesserts ( member #39665) posted at 1:15 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
Full retraction of Notebook. And I thought Twilight didn't have "infidelity". Just the later movies in series.
2 year EA/PA. DDay 3/12. Broke NC 6/13 w/one stupid 5 line e-mail (which brought me to SI). Me: WH, 51. Her: BW, 50. Married 20 years. Two kids. Dog. Reconciling...together.
SeeThingsNow1 ( member #38241) posted at 1:42 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
I liked Les Mis....
The whole theme is love ( the singing was not so great...lol ) BUT the one part made me cry so much, anne hathaway singing I Had A Dream....my life would be, so different from this hell I'm living.......the whole movie was about the power of love ( to me anyway) very moving if you just listen to the message
HeartInADustpan ( member #38341) posted at 1:50 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
Just had to chime in as a BS. My all time guilty pleasure romantic movie has been Ever After since I first saw it *cough* 15 years ago. Last time I watched it was dday right before I innocently opened my WH email and had the discovery of my life. The movie has since been thrown out and the thought of it makes me sick.
Romances put me on edge now. I resist the urge to scream at the TV that it's all a big sham.
Just call me Heart. :)
Reconciling
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything" ~Mark Twain
thecaves (original poster member #38062) posted at 9:16 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
So we talked about this a little last night. The general outcome is that it depends on the mood and and depends on the movie. Like others have stated, I think it's just something too risky at this point and avoidance is the best choice right now.
Me: WH
Her: BW
Kids: Yes
Married: 20+
D-Day: 12/2012
What defines us is how well we rise after falling.
grassisgreener ( new member #40100) posted at 4:40 PM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013
The Notebook?? Even IF you overlook the jilted fiance, you're just going to rub in BS face what she'll never have. Movies and tv are definitely trickier now.
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