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Sweating Out Trigger Day: Emotion Is Hitting Now

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MsRukia posted 11/4/2013 13:25 PM

So I've been so totally occupied with MDD's health, that affair stuff has kinda taken a back seat. We have been in and out of the hospital all week. I conquered one big trigger, being at said hospital overnight whilst WH was at home. The last two times this happened he had OW in my bed having sex. So when I gave birth to YDD, he had her in my bed while I was in the hospital.
Today is YDD 1st birthday. Huge trigger. Now that things are quiet, and I'm not occupied it's setting in and I want to cry. I suppose it doesn't help that I was up most of the night tending to MDD's medical needs. I had bad dreams all night about the affair.
WH has been reassuring. And so far , the trigger hasn't full on hit like I thought it was. But still, it sucks
Why does the birth of my baby have to be intermingled with an affair?
I hope it passes. Though thankfully , because of circumstances at least we are having a quiet birthday for her, which is what I wanted.

devasted30 posted 11/4/2013 14:11 PM

This is all still so new to you. Give yourself a break. I think you're doing extremely well considering.
Hang in there. Tomorrow really is another day. Time is the only thing that will make this easier especially if you have a remorseful WS.

nowiknow23 posted 11/4/2013 16:08 PM

((((MsRukia)))) You've got an awful lot on your plate. Keep breathing. You can get through this.

MsRukia posted 11/4/2013 16:22 PM

Thanks guys. Now there are moments it's so hard. I just feel angry I have so much to deal with at one time. It's overwhelming.

1Bite2Shy posted 11/4/2013 16:30 PM

I feel for you. I found messages from my WH to the AP while we were both sitting in the hospital waiting for my epidural to go deliver our second baby. I'm pregnant again, and every time I have thought about the delivery, I trigger badly. His first birthday was a pretty bad day as well.

I'm attempting to separate the two. It wasn't my choice to be involved in it, and he'll just have to deal with the consequences of his own choices as they come about.

MsRukia posted 11/4/2013 17:28 PM

I super appreciate that. I feel alone. I'm trying to seperate things too. It's a work in progress, for sure.. I'm hoping by the 2nd birthda it will be better.

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