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Working (negotiating) with stbxww on the terms of the D and am at a total loss of who this person sitting across from me has become.

stbxww - "sex isn't important to me (her)" She had a two year A that was primarily, if not exclusively sexual.

stbxww - "money is not what is important". I am refinancing our home to pay her share of the equity. She says the appraisal is too low so she gets a list of recent sals from her realtor. And the average $/sf for these homes turns out to be the same as the appraisal. But she insists our home is nicer and is worth more.

stbxww - "if only we had not gone on the first date". She denies 18 years of marriage, our courtship, and the happy times we shared. If she acknowledged the good times then she would have to face her choice to have an A. And she is not capable of doing that.

And that my friends is in some way the worst part of this whole ordeal.

Be safe! Be happy! Be healthy! Live with ease!

H&C

((((h&c))))

Be happy you are almost done with her. She sounds like the female equiv of my xh. Our WHOLE marriage was miserable, and he never should have married me. Oh, gee, thanks.

Infidelity is one of the hardest things that we ever experience.

I am convinced that divorce is just as bad.

The laws governing divorce are devoid of sense. Our children and I have been financially ruined by my ex-W and a legal system that says it does things 'in the best interests of children' while destroying them and any possibility of a decent future.

This from a woman who declared that 'I don't want anything from you'.

Then, she all but burned to the ground a 25 year marriage, gets $3,100/mth permanent alimony, $1,500/ mth child support, forced the unwind of whole life insurance policies, 20-years in the making and leaving me without life insurance, forced 'buyout' of the family home.

With all this, she constantly whines that she is broke, even as she makes more than $100,000 as a state employee and has great current and retirement benefits. She does not contribute to our childrens' higher education expenses despite a court order.

Scorched earth is all she knows. But she 'doesn't want anything from me'.

[This message edited by Merlin at 9:22 AM, November 6th (Wednesday)]