This Topic is Archived
Spelljean (original poster member #35624) posted at 3:38 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
WH still uses "baby" and "honey" when we converse. We are divorcing.
Anyone notice this as something that lasted a long time?
I use his first name and requested he do the same but he won't.
Guess I will just need to ignore it.
WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated
Dark Inertia ( member #30727) posted at 3:40 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
Ex called me "hon" for a long time, out of habit I believe.
No12turn2 ( member #40996) posted at 4:03 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
Mine doesn't want to R but she still says babe to me. She also still says I love you before she goes to sleep on the couch or before she leaves or hangs up the phone. We both know she does it out of habit and nothing else
Me/BS 35
WW 32
M 12 yrs 2 Girls 10 & 7
Phone/Cyber Affairs (3 D-Days)
Status: DIVORCED 4/24/2014
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 4:46 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
Funny, xpos told me when we were first together that saying those things to each other just sounded *fake* and *phony* to him and he didn't want to do that.
Shortly after I started to suspect him of cheating, he suddenly started calling me "babe" and got all indignant when I asked him why.
Right after he left for slut, he came here one day and took a call from her standing in front of me. He stood there saying, "oh, honey, sweetie, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!". 
So I guess that was an indication that it all was fake in his mind. 
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
stunnedin12 ( member #38141) posted at 4:52 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
Wh and I seldom used endearments before the affair.
Now? The only thing I call him is his first name and/or Mr. last name.
Every once in awhile I used to call him his common work nickname but I will never use that nickname again since chickie used it all the time.
He has started calling me, honey. I don't know that it means diddly squat to him.
ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Lawyers involved.
surviving1963 ( member #40393) posted at 5:48 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
My WH NEVER used any terms of endearment, like honey, babe, sweetie......until now. After 32 years of him acting like talking that was corny. He has started calling me "sweetie". What?! Where did that come from? Butt-kisser. It's not working.
Me: 54
WH: 54
Married 34 years.
D-Days 3-4-12, 8-19-12
4 sons, 3 daughters
9 grandkids
D final Oct 2015
Onan ( member #33473) posted at 6:10 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
Never really had any endearments - just first names only. One time though, when making love she said "Ohhh, baby..". Problem is - "baby" was her endearment with OM. Kinda ruined the moment.
Sadly, a true story...
BS(me): 58
WW(her): 56
M: 23yrs
D-day: 8/25/2011
Divorced!
The two biggest mistakes in my life was putting trust in a wife.
Raven96 ( member #40298) posted at 5:49 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013
We NEVER used our names. It was always "Hon" or "Honey," and when our son was little it was "Mommy" or "Daddy." For the first few months after D-Day I used ONLY his first name. He would answer, "What, RA-VEN," clearly annoyed that I wasn't saying "Hon." When our toddler started calling him by his first name, I went back to the way it was. We are R, so I figured why not?
Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?
TheRealDeal ( member #39560) posted at 1:29 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013
We have names for each other but never "hon" or "babe".
After Dday he started calling me "hon" or "babe". That was new and apparently the names they called each other.
So whenever he called me "hon" or "babe" I replied each time with "who is that?". He got the message.
Those 2 words are no longer part of our vocabulary.
Me (BS): 47 him (Xws): 55
together 18 years
DDay1, DDay2, Dday 3: March - June 2013
Dday4 + June 2015 through January 2016
Status: done I called it quits 1-6-2016
The hardest part of letting go is realizing there wasn't much left to hold on to
fourever ( member #30631) posted at 1:44 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013
He tried a nickname on me he used for mow. Until I ripped him a new asshole for it. 
In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.
Always, tell the other BS! Always!
"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 6:58 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013
It seems that WSs have this in common, at least among the posters to this thread. Quite a number have said that the endearments were a new development around the time the A began. This is true of when I suspected him of it in our case.
Just an observation upon reading through the thread.
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
This Topic is Archived
