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Divorce/Separation :
Too thin

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 SusanR (original poster member #29368) posted at 3:50 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

BMI is now less than 17.5.

I eat but mostly "graze". i am not hungry but I eat to stay alive.

when will this stop?

posts: 1970   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6550304
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 3:52 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

How much have you lost since your last Dday? And, are you in IC?

It will get better Susan, honestly. But it's a rollercoaster in the process. ((HUGS))

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6550306
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Thefly559 ( member #40268) posted at 4:59 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

I can remember not eating or drinking a thing for 5 straight days since D day I lost 40 lbs . The divorce diet sucks! You have to take care of yourself first , everything else will come together after that. But you are number one.

"respect? you don't deserve it, you won't get any from me unless you earn it"

posts: 1033   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2013   ·   location: nyc
id 6550368
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Rainbows ( member #39362) posted at 5:07 AM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

I am so sorry to read this. There is so much collateral damage as a result of infidelity.

Try to eat or maybe start making smoothies to get proper nutrition. It is so important.

I'm embarrassed to say after my first dday my BMI ultimately dropped to under 14. I thought he cheated because I wasn't thin enough (it was 18-19 before).

Please focus on your physical health. It takes a lot of energy to work through and heal from infidelity. Your brain is a muscle and needs fuel to properly process everything that is going on. When our bodies don't have enough fuel, they use muscle to survive.

I can remember my thoughts spiraling more and more out of control as my BMI dropped. Now I have an irreversible heart condition as a result of being under nourished for over a year.

Please take care of yourself and put your health first. Don't let his actions cause more damage.

Sending you hugs and light.

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

posts: 415   ·   registered: May. 26th, 2013   ·   location: California
id 6550370
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tesla ( member #34697) posted at 12:05 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

I hear you, last January, size 2 was falling off me...way too dangerously thin.

I found protein shakes to be a big help plus anything that I could graze on (lots and lots of trail mix).

((((hugs))))

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

posts: 5066   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012
id 6550533
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7yrsflushed ( member #32258) posted at 1:56 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

If you aren't in IC you should start, it helps. If you can stomach them get some protein shakes. I lived off them for a few weeks. I couldn't eat anything but I could drink so I basically drank my food until I could eat again.

I was overweight at DDay and lost a ton of weight afterwards. I decided to go to the gym and work out to relieve some stress. It helped with the weightloss and gave me an outlet to burn off excess energy and anxiety. It also helped get my appetite back because even though I didn't really want food I had to eat after working out.

Don't rule out going to your DR as well. Tell him/her what's going on.

D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

posts: 2231   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2011   ·   location: VA
id 6550646
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 2:08 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

(((Susan)))

If you can, stock your freezer with organic berries. My favourite are blueberries and blackberries, but just load that thing with frozen fruit of all kinds that appeal to you.

There's a great brown rice protein that has no additives and keeps well in the fridge.

Udo's oil is a blend of omega 3, add some ground flax seed, and you can get some liquid calcium.

That's my favourite shake. Mostly organic, full of vitamins and good fats for your brain function, and very tasty when blended with citrus or whole apple juice.

I could live on those and raw nuts to snack on. And dark chocolate chips in the trail mix.

I hope you can give it a go.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6550662
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ChoosingHope ( member #33606) posted at 2:26 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

Susan, you need to get professional help. That is when this will end.

It's been six months, and you're going to do permanent damage to your health if you continue. Read Rainbow's story.

Please get professional help. Posting here is okay, but you need the help of professionals.

posts: 1855   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2011
id 6550693
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anewday78 ( member #39357) posted at 3:28 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

If you're finding that you continue to have such a hard time eating for much longer, go to a health food store and get a good meal supplement mix - Garden of Life RAW Meal is a really good one. When I first started taking my ADD medication, I completely lost my appetite. People - even people I hadn't seen in a while - started expressing major concerns about my weight loss - saying I looked "sick." I went to my local natural food store and told one of the associates what was going on and she recommended the product I mentioned above. I bought a NutriBullet from Bed, Bath, & Beyond and mixed two scoops of the powder with some almond milk and strawberries and added a splash of chocolate syrup and it was AMAZING! It gave me tons of energy and even helped my mental/emotional state, putting me in a better mood.

Taking care of yourself is IMPERATIVE right now - when you let your physical health go, everything follows. Please get some nutrients in your body - you don't deserve to suffer any more than you already have. (((hugs)))

posts: 350   ·   registered: May. 26th, 2013
id 6550778
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careerlady ( member #16958) posted at 5:52 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

I'm a doctor and the other posters are right, you are killing yourself. It is normal not to feel hungry but make concentrated effort to prepare healthy meals and eat them! Like a nice sit fry with rice for dinner or oatmeal with boiled egg for breakfast. Nothing fancy! And get professional help!

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

posts: 949   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007   ·   location: Northern California
id 6550957
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:11 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

Yup you are right too thin. This comprimises your immune system and weakens you bones. It can effect all your systems but those are the two that we see the effects from first.

Please make sure you are taking prenatal vitamins, (yes prenatal because they have a titch more of the things that you really need)that you get your flu vaccine, and that you talk to your Dr. Pre Dday when I couldn't quite figure out what the hell was going on, just that H was a miserable jerk, I lost a fair amount of weight, and I needed to, then post Dday I really got bad, and dropped a bunch more. I found that anti anxiety meds helped me to be able to eat.

Protein shakes, and you don't have to get the icky ones from the store, just get some frozen berries, and greek yogurt, run em through the blender, and voila, you have protein, and sugars.

Eat every 3-4 hours during the day, and at night if you are not sleeping. You need to give your body fuel. It doesn't have to be a ton, but something with some protein, cheese and yogurt saved me.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6550986
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StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 8:38 PM on Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

You have got to try and eat. If you cannot eat anything, grab one of those healthy juice smoothies and drink it down and take multivitamins. This will pass. Just hang in there and do your best to keep food or smoothies down. If you have a Ninja or Vitamix blender, throw some chia or flax seeds in there.

Also, you can switch to almond or soy milk to get your protein in.

Hope this helps.

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014

posts: 6242   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 6551204
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 SusanR (original poster member #29368) posted at 10:50 AM on Wednesday, November 6th, 2013

Thanks, everyone. I did see a counselor and doctor about my weight, They both recommended the protein shakes (Boost and Ensure) but I don't want to put that crap in my body. I spoke with a nutritionist who said I need a lot more good fats. I just made a protein shake in my Vitamix with organic berries, greek yogurt, brown rice protein, kale, agave nectar, water and ice. It's good. Probably should have thrown an avocado in there for fat.

I've been eating organic protein bars (Raw Food Bar) once or twice a day. They have lots of "good fat" in them. Eating lots of nuts. Taking Juice Plus supplements.

I do eat but obviously not enough. I ate a sandwich last night and felt sick afterward because, I think, it was just too much food at one time.

I think the issue is a combination of nerves and living alone. I used to cook dinner every night when I lived with my husband but I don't really want to prepare meals for one person.

I like the trail mix idea. Gonna try that. Just tote it around with me all day and nibble.

And, I'll look for the Udi's Oil.

I've lost 40 lbs since August 2010. It really started coming off after DDay 2, and then I have gotten dangerously thin since DDay 3 when we separated.

The good news is my skin is catching up with my smaller size. I don't look like I'm swimming in a bag of skin anymore.

posts: 1970   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6551917
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BeautifulEmpty ( member #38763) posted at 1:25 AM on Thursday, November 7th, 2013

For clean, non crap protein shakes that don't require thinking unless you just want to kick them up, get Sun Warrior.

You can find it online or at most health food stores.

The chocolate is pretty good, even with water although some kind of milk is better. No crap, organic, vegan, non gmo.

Vanilla was weird in water, ok in almond milk but not my cuppa. They also have plain so you can flavor it any way you like.

I think everyone has said all the good stuff but I wanted to help when you mentioned being told boost and ensure. Pure gmo refined sugar and garbage in a can.

Me: 44 BS
Him: 40 FWS
Ow: 47 head case, no obs
5 DD's: 23, 20, 19, 17, 12
Last D-day: August 2012 with lots of very blurry lines.

posts: 360   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2013   ·   location: Washington State
id 6552975
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