Thank you for your replies.
I've been feeling really good most of the time lately, it's just tonight has made me realise that I'm not coping too well after all.
I did go to counselling initially after DDay whilst taking prozac but I felt I didn't need to continue. This was also because I had to miss two appointment because my DD was ill and I had to pay extra for missed sessions. I have since been back for a booking in and I'm on the waiting list again.
I came off AD's in September after gradually reducing my dose and have been doing well off them.
Though now I feel like something has switched inside me and a lot of dark feelings are resurfacing again. I am going to see how I am in the morning and if necessary go and see my gp to start taking AD's again.
Another thing I'm really struggling with at the moment is that I'm really missing my ex. I know this is crazy as he is a pos who couldn't care less about me, he made that very clear.
And because of this I am questioning why he has done what he has when he isn't even with OW anyway. What was the point?
It's just a cruel way to want to leave someone and now my children and I have to pick up the pieces.