Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Calmate (46012)

User Topic: OT: Another affair forum triggered me bad.
90Worthless90
♀ 39855
Member # 39855
Default  Posted: 1:39 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I was lurking around another infidelity forum and came across a section specifically made for the the other person in the affair. It was mostly made up of OW.

Man, the things I read there brought back all of my anger back for the OW and my partner. It feels like it just happened yesterday.

Many of them were completely unremorseful. Some even seemed to enjoy that they were hurting the BS and bragged about their affair. Some even implied that the BS deserved it somehow.

It makes me wonder if the OW in my partners affair felt like this and I think she probably did. And she, like the other women on that forum are getting off scott free while the BS has to take the brunt of the trauma.


If anyone wants to read here is a link. But I warn you if your wounds are fresh it will be very triggering.

***Please do not post links to other sites***

[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:03 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)]


Me: 23

Him: 29

Together 6 years.

DS: 2yrs

Ow: 18 at the time. Our son's "God sister"

Doomsday: November 2nd 2012. A couple of days before our sons birthday


Posts: 28 | Registered: Jul 2013
Raven96
♀ 40298
Member # 40298
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know, it really doesn't surprise me. I think some APs actually get off on stealing another person's spouse. I only hope that they fall in love someday with someone that promises them the world, and then one of the members of their former club rips the rug right out from under them. Maybe THEN they will understand.

I'm sorry it triggered you. Do something for yourself today!

(((90W90)))


Marriage isn't a test, so why cheat?

Posts: 379 | Registered: Aug 2013
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went to one of those sites pre SI. I got so damn mad I had to stay out of it. I was searching for some explanation, some reason why it happened. Yea those places will send you over the edge, especially when they insinuate they deserve ws more than bs. Idk, its just all kinds of crazy.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5274 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
jjct
♂ 17484
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Probably be a good idea to edit that address out of your post - the great and terrible MHods have enough to do around here herding us cats - don't want no board wars.

Posts: 6830 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We got it.


I used to drive myself NUTS going to these other sites. I wanted to peek inside the heads of OW and see WHY the would do this.

Nothing but heartache and trouble there. I feel better steering clear.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 2:12 PM, November 5th (Tuesday)]


"Welcome the rawness of vulnerability as an opportunity to open." - Pema Chodron

Posts: 18670 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Rebreather
♀ 30817
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

don't want no board wars.

Great. And here I am with my pitchfork and torch. Now what am I gonna do?


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6693 | Registered: Jan 2011
SisterMilkshake
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I really don't (and never did) give a fuck what the AP thought or felt. I don't care what its story is, why it felt it was okay to pursue and fuck my FWH. I don't have any need to understand these waywards thinking because it truly is not understandable.

What I do understand about most AP's is that they are fucked up and so anything they say, feel, or think is fucked up.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 10082 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
still-living
♂ 30434
Member # 30434
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

'Tis the crap they they weave to justify they are not bad people. Fact is, they were used.


BH(me)47
WW 47 FOO Issues
DDay 11/09 Coworker
High School Sweethearts
Married 06/91
8 months TT
Sons 19 and 14
Recovery is constructing a pyramid of inference from which to see clearer.
The process involves using the reflexive loop.

Posts: 808 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Ches
painfulpast
♀ 41038
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What always scares the crap out of me on those types of boards is how many write about DDay, the relationship ending, and then 3 or 4 months later, MM writes them saying how much they miss the OW, and they start it right back up. The amount of false Rs seems so high.

I do always laugh when I read one where MM just ditched them. They’re soooo sad. Boo hoo. What did you think you were getting? And they will justify to the ends of the earth why MM isn’t leaving for them. Yeah, a King gives up his kingdom, but your MM can’t not have a garage.

So stupid!!


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yah, I don't think I could read that stuff.
Afterall how can you make sense out of nonsense.

Those people are sad and broken, and probably have so many FOO issues it would make your head spin.

Aww poor puddim's is sad cause her Married man went back to his wife, and kids. WTF? That is just messed up.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8888 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
90Worthless90
♀ 39855
Member # 39855
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The amount of false recoveries I see also scares me.

What bothers me the most is when the WS actually leaves the BS for the OP. They actually encourage and congratulate the OP on them finally being happy together. Not giving a flying f*ck about the BS.


Me: 23

Him: 29

Together 6 years.

DS: 2yrs

Ow: 18 at the time. Our son's "God sister"

Doomsday: November 2nd 2012. A couple of days before our sons birthday


Posts: 28 | Registered: Jul 2013
painfulpast
♀ 41038
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What bothers me the most is when the WS actually leaves the BS for the OP. They actually encourage and congratulate the OP on them finally being happy together. Not giving a flying f*ck about the BS.

Oh, I know. That is really disturbing. The callousness of these people is unreal. They congratulate and act like this person just hit the jackpot – not that they just got a cheater. And of course, it just happened, always.

I don’t know how they reconcile that occasionally one leaves the BS, even though they had all of the other things that the rest of them claim is why they ‘can’t leave’.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
notquiteoverit
♀ 32919
Member # 32919
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, November 5th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe there are OW/OM out there who are remorseful. But, the ones that take pleasure from stealing someone else's man/woman are damaged people with very low self-esteem. Stealing gives them temporary power and takes away that self-hatred they usually deal with. Only, it is temporary and eventually gives way to more self-hatred. As for the others that just don't feel remorse, they are just living in a land of delusion. They have convinced themselves they are better than the BS because deep down they know they are scum and just can't face their own shit.

So, as infuriating as it is to read their crap, remember that these people are carrying a whole lot of baggage and brokenness, and that they have to live with themselves.


Me - BS 50
Him - WS 49
SOW - 52 destitute loser
D-day 1/28/11

Posts: 586 | Registered: Jul 2011
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, November 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the other things that really got to me was the LTA's. Some of the ow had been involved for years, waiting for ws. They waited for babies to start school, then finish school, even waited thru college. The ws just keep telling them they are going to be together one day and they wait. It bothers me because I wonder if my ws ow is doing this, if ws has told her to wait and she's doing it. I used to tell myself he didn't have time to see ow very often and there's no way she would be satisfied with rare face to face time, but I saw that some ow only see the guy once a month for a c couple of hours, and they accept it. Just makes it more real for me I guess.

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 8:33 AM, November 6th (Wednesday)]


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5274 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 14

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.